Soul of Furies (Book Three)

Chapter 3: Words

"Hiccup? You home?" I call, pushing the door open to our house.

I hear the familiar uneven footsteps of my husband and he rounds the corner, giving me a smile. I force myself to give him one back as he walks closer, leaning over and kissing my cheek.

"Good evening, my dear," he greets. "How are you?"

"I'm...good, I guess," I say, feeling my throat constrict with anxiety again. I look around, noticing an absence of Runa and Destin. "Um...where are the kids?"

"With mom. You know how much she loves them," Hiccup answers, turning around and heading towards the table. "How was the rest of your day?"

"Pretty normal," I say, sitting down in the nearest chair and resting my elbows on the wooden tabletop. "Runa played with Astrior for most of the afternoon. I chatted with Astrid. What about you?"

"Ilia and Eret were helping Fishlegs with the nursery expansion, Toothless had to stop a bunch of Nightmares from stampeding..." He laughs. "It was quite the crazy time. Still, Astrid got them back in check pretty fast once she got there."

He keeps talking, smiling and frowning and swinging his arms and moving his hands as he talks, and yet all I can do is watch him. This man before me, this sweet, wonderful man who's loved me for so many years...I still don't know how I'm going to be able to tell him.

"Hiccup," I speak, my voice low and almost scratchy. I cough, trying to clear my throat as my husband settles down in another chair, giving me an expectant look. "Um...so, you know how the anniversary of Alrek's defeat is coming up?" I comment, fiddling with my necklace.

He nods. "Well...yeah, of course. We sort of celebrate it every year, remember?"

I brush my fingertips along the blue gemstone, wishing that I could still feel the gentle thrum of magic within it. My eyes sting and I swallow, noting the confusion growing in Hiccup's expression.

"I, obviously, came back from the dead...but there were a few things that I didn't really mention back then..." I stumble, my sentences broken and my voice trembling.

His face turns grim yet worried. "Didn't mention? You told me that you were given two options, home or Valhalla, and that you chose Berk. What else is there?"

I drag my tongue over my lips and smooth my clothes. "Since...since I chose Berk, I only got a certain amount of time before my soul is to be taken back to Valhalla..." I say, watching his expression flood with panic and anger all at once.

He launches to his feet, storming closer to me and grasping my shoulders as he lifts me up. He stares right into my brown eyes, his breaths shaky and slow. I find myself reeling from the panic in his eyes.

"How long? Twenty years? Thirty?" he demands, his grip tightening with desperation.

I shut my eyes, my posture slumping. "Ten...ten years since that day."

His grip slackens. I refuse to open my eyes, not wanting to see just what he'll look like. I wait, hearing his breaths directly before me for a few moments. Then, there's a mighty shout and something shatters. I gasp and my eyes fly open, finding that Hiccup had knocked one of our smaller statues to the ground.

"Ten years...TEN YEARS?!" he roars, shocking me into silence. He spins to me, his eyes like green dragon fire. "So you've got a week or two? Is that it?!"

I find myself nodding despite feeling numb everywhere. "On the deadline of my first death, the gods are taking me back."

He mutters some curse under his breath as he turns away, one hand pressing against his forehead as his fingers curl into his hair. He clenches his other hand into a fist and smacks it against the tabletop, rattling it and making me flinch.

"Thora..." he says. "Why didn't you tell me this right from the moment I pulled you off that ship? It wouldn't have been that hard to just say—" He stops to flutter his eyelashes and pose girlishly. "Oh Hiccup, by the way, I'm going to die again in ten years. Just thought you'd know," he says in an over-exaggerated feminine voice.

"You're acting like a child about this," I snap. "I was still young. I wanted to go back to you and Nightstar and our friends! You needed me—"

"I would rather have dealt with the grief then and moved on!" he shouts, finally turning to face me again. "What about Destin or Runa or our dragons? How on Helheim did you ever think that marrying me and bearing my children just to die again before they can even grow up would be–" His voice breaks and he stops, his shoulders starting to tremble as he sucks in a short breath. "W-would be the best option?"

I can't bring myself to say anything, my eyes stinging further. Hiccup rests both his hands on the edge of the table, trying to calm his breathing but finding it increasingly difficult.

He's right, of course. Back then, I didn't have the idea of children on my mind. I wanted Nightstar, I wanted Hiccup...I followed after what I desired, and look what that's done. I made a selfish decision, one that's only served to cause more pain. I should've stayed in Valhalla when I got the chance.

"I should've told you, I realize that," I say.

"Yet you didn't," Hiccup says, snapping his gaze back to me. I feel my heart ache at the sight of the tears building in his eyes. "But I should've seen that coming. You never tell me the whole truth right from the get go. It's always secrets, hiding some details away until later...I hate it."

"You knew that about me before you fell in love with me," I utter, crossing my arms over my chest.

"And I fell in love with you when I was young and stupid, and thought that maybe the mysterious thing was kind of alluring!" he retorts. "But now, because of you, I've got two weeks to tell our children and our friends that you're going to die. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me?" I repeat, incredulous. "Oh, there's nothing wrong with me! I just escaped a massacre and saw my parents die and died myself and a whole other storm of events that never happens to normal people! I'm pretty sure I've told you time and time again that I'm basically a mess!"

"I thought that you'd be smart enough to tell me about something as big as a deal with the gods!"

"I wasn't even going to tell you!" I scream, making him fall silent. The house creaks, the wind outside whistling against the slightly ajar windows. I press my fingertips against my temple. "I was going to leave it, and when it happened I'd play it off as an accident. None of you would ever know."

The absolute hurt and disbelief in his face is enough to make me want to collapse. "How could you be so selfish?" he demands. "How could you do that to our children?"

"I don't know!" I retort, a tear rolling down my freckled cheek. I scramble to wipe it away. "I don't know! My parents wanted me to choose what I wanted on the bridge and maybe I wanted to be with you, Hiccup. Maybe I didn't want to be the selfless hero anymore!"

He doesn't respond, his eyes glistening with held-back tears behind the mask of fury. "So that's it? You're leaving me behind, leaving Destin and Runa without their mother." He laughs, but it's choked and hurt. "Great. Just great, Thora. I hope you're happy."

"How could I be happy with this?!"

"Maybe because your emotions are always unpredictable and out of whack," he spits.

I stiffen, opening my mouth to retort but finding that only a choked squeak escapes. I clamp my mouth shut again, my hands clenched into fists as more tears escape and roll down my face.

"If I'm such a burden to you, then I should've kept flying the day I met you," I utter. "If not that, I should've left when I said I would." I wipe my face, noticing his face soften, but I don't give him the chance to speak again before I walk to the door and shove it open, disappearing into the night.