Turmoil [Emmett Cullen] (3)

[15- Post Sleepover]

"Bella left," Alice called the next morning, her voice high with worry. I yanked off my gaming headset.

"What do you mean left? You drove her to school."

"The dog picked her up. I couldn't see, it wasn't her idea." I sighed angerly, Edward would be fuming when he found out. The dumb dog just screwed up everything.

I went to my computer and typed Bella's phone number into my tracking software. A blinking red dot was rapidly travelling west towards the coast.

"She's on highway 101. Moving fast." Even if Alice left the school right now, she wouldn't be able to catch up. "She'll cross the Quileute border by the time you get there." Alice groaned.

"Thanks El. I'll let Edward know." She hung up.

"Is everything ok?" Esme asked, peering into my room.

"Bella left school with Jacob," I grumbled. Every time I thought I didn't like him, he did something that made me dislike him even more. 

Since Bella was now on my mind, I could only think about what she had asked me; did I ever want to become a vampire. Did I ever have a conversation about it? Was it mentioned? With the benefit of hindsight, it was easy to say yes, I did want this life. But it was the specifics that I was interested in. There are only a handful of human memories I vividly remember, several that are foggy and the rest are completely gone.

When I transformed, Emmett and I had several conversations about my human life, but Emmett didn't really dwell on the past so those conversations never lasted long.

Surely we must have talked about it when I was human. What was my mindset? Was I hesitant? Geez, I needed to stop thinking about this, I was already starting to spiral.

So I spent the entire doing what I did best, distracting myself. Esme showed me how to use design my house online using a 3D software. With her guidance, I picked wood, siding, windows, and paint colors but without Emmett, time moved sluggishly.

I somehow managed to keep my wandering thoughts at bay until Bella came back from the reservation at 4. She was soaking wet and covered in mud. There was a motorcycle which I had a lot of questions about but refrained from asking them. Bella didn't want to talk about what happened so she went to bed early.

Finally at midnight, I heard Carlisle's Mercedes turn off the highway up our driveway.

"El!" Emmett roared, thundering into the house. His grey shirt was now brown, patches of dried mud splattered across the front. "You should have seen the size of the bears! It was great!" His grin was infectious.

He walked across the living room towards me. I threw my arms around his neck and rose on my toes for a kiss. I instantly felt at peace with him here.

I reluctantly pulled away, "Can we talked outside?"

Emmett's eyebrows furrowed, "Is something wrong?"

I took his hand, "Come, it's easier if I just explain."

I sat down on the hood of my Lamborghini. Emmett waited patiently for me to start.

"I spoke to Bella. And she asked if we ever had a conversation about me becoming a vampire. I assume we talked about it when I was human but I really can't remember anything."

Emmett sighed.

"It came up once when you were in the hospital. Carlisle gave you some strong antibiotics and pain medication so I'm not surprised you don't remember much. Before we talked, Carlisle told me your prognosis. I just asked if you ever would want to be like me. Maybe it was a subconscious thing. Like deep in the back of mind. Maybe I knew there was a chance you wouldn't pull through." Emmett's voice went quiet.

"What if I recovered?" Saying the words out loud was weird.

"I would have seriously asked when you were coming up to your 20th birthday. The same age as me. But until then, just take things day by day, like we were doing."

"And what if I didn't want to become a vampire?"

"You know I'd never force you. I would still want to be friends for as long as it worked, though it might be weird in like 40 years." I chuckled at the thought.

"I really hoped you would want this life and everything that comes with it. Carlisle was fairly certain that the venom would be able to repair your spine so you would have been able to walk again. But I wanted you to make your own decisions. I tried my hardest not to sway your subconscious decision."

"Honestly, I don't think I would ever truely move on; find someone else I cared about as much as you."

He paused, "Do you know there's only one moment in my life that I wanted to be human? It was the day I met you in chemistry."

I knew I should have treaded lightly. Emmett wasn't fond of my final human weeks. But I couldn't help it; I was curious. The way he said "your prognosis". How much did he know?

"When did you know I wasn't going to make it?"

Emmett shuddered and stared at his shoes. "Maybe a couple days before, when you were put on the ventilator. Alice said your future wasn't certain. Sometimes it would fade or completely disappear. Carlisle and I talked about it but I ultimately made the final decision."

He took a deep breath in.

"Seeing you suffer in that hospital bed was the most painful moment of my existence. And knowing that I couldn't do anything to help. I was a complete wreck, you can ask Carlisle. And then sticking to my promise of saving you. I was so worried that you would resent me for making that decision for you. I wanted you to have a choice." His words tumbled out.

"Hey." I leapt up and took Emmett's face between my hands. "I would have chosen this life. I would have chosen you."

"And everything worked out, right?"

He smiled and put his hands over mine, "Yeah it did."

We stared into each other eyes.

"Can we talk about something else now?" Emmett asked.

"I'm sorry, that must have been hard to talk about," I apologised and then smirked, "To you want to talk about how about how the Cowboys are going to destroy the Rams in the divisional playoffs?"

Emmett's eyes widened, "Are you kidding? The Cowboys don't stand a chance."