breathing problems (marvel high school AU)

six

trigger warning: panic attacks

-

loki curls up on the side of peter as he re-writes his AP physics notes. he rests his head in the crook of peters neck and reaches for his hand that's not writing.

"loki, you know i have to study.."

"then study, you're not bothering me"
loki closes his eyes and peter holds his hand tighter. peter smiles down at his diva of a best friend.

midterm testing was to began two days ago and would determine if peter had a grade that was just good, or a grade that could get him to an academic scholarship if he kept it up.

i'm sure if i played baseball' he thought. i would have gotten a full ride to any D1 school. but i don't play baseball and i don't have any money so school is my bet bet.

the future scared him because of going away. not necessarily because of the leaving queens part of it, just leaving the people he loves. may and loki are so important to him and he's not ready to leave. but if he got into to yale or duke with a scholarship, he could never pass that up.

loki falls over into peters book in between his criss crossed legs, fast asleep.

peter decides not to move. quite frankly, loki could use the rest.
-

"okay class, i'm your proctor for this exam, you are not allowed to have cell phones and any electronic devices on you at all times during the testing period. you may only use pen on part two. you may begin"

The class flips their page over to start their AP physics exam. peter has been studying like crazy every day leading up to this. he knows that this exam grade will decide either an A or an A+ on his report card, which will decide his GPA, which is what colleges look at.

question 15 is passed within 20 minutes. they have an hour and a half to complete the exam.

'okay peter you know this question. we went over this with loki on monday. monday was good i had a lot of fun we got bubble tea and i read my favorite book and- Focus!'

his mind is racing but he manages to make it through the test in ample time. peter is obviously one of the smartest kids in the school, the only person who worries about his grades is himself. he's never failed a test in his life! why should he be worried now?

he finally checks it over and hands it in. he is dismissed from the testing room and heads to the library to wait for loki to finish  his honors english exam. he takes out his phone and headphones and plugs in his favorite playlist.

after about fifteen minutes, loki enters the library and sits next to peter at the table. "hey, how'd phyiscs go?"

"honestly i'm so nervous, but i'm so glad midterms are done with" peter says running his hand through his hair.

"yeah well at least you score well on them!" loki retorts and peter chuckles. they both sit down on peters couch, loki resting on the arm rest.

"you know i would help you if you needed it, in any subject"

loki smiles, but his eyes are sad "yeah i know, but you might not be around forever so i have to teach myself." loki can't look peter in the eye, but glances at him.

"but i'm here right now! it's not about when i won't be here. " peter has had this conversation with him thousands of times and loki never trusts peter fully.

"yeah but you're gonna go to MIT and go make a bunch of college friends someday and leave me in the dust and i know that you're not gonna want me around and you don't even want me here now i'm really just wasting your time i'm sorry i-"

"loki! you're not wasting my time! i really always want you around. it's okay, you're okay"peter says calmly.

loki's heart feels like its being trapped and breathing feels like a chore. "okay. okay im okay i just.. i dont, it hurts- peter-" loki whispers out and he puts his hand on his chest.

peter wraps his arm around loki and holds him. "you're going to be okay."

"o-okay" and he exhales.

—
loki is at home in his room, just sleeping. he probably has homework and he should probably do it. but he's not going to, even if he does wake up with enough time to do it. he luckily got home before his dad did, so he didn't get in trouble for taking the long way home, which may or may not be peters house.

little did loki know, there were blank unread messages from peter on his phone.

                         peter👏🥔🐼

hey loki don't freak out
but i think the amount of
panic attacks you've been
having lately is kinda alarming

i think maybe we could go to
a doctor or a therapist

please don't freak out, i just
want the best for you

hello?

text me when you see this bud
~
loki sleeps until the morning. he wakes up. turns off the alarm.
and looks at his phone.