Billie Eilish :)

my strange addiction❤️

as soon as we got out of the car to enter the venue, my phone pinged. i didnt read who it was, i only had to read the first 3 words.

"hey you i'm sorry for no contact i've been in a bad place as you know i've done some things i shouldn't have not done but i had my reasons but i'm at mums til mid week then i'm going to stay at dads to get things sorted hope your ok xxxxx"

my dad. the one who -

i dont wanna answer. i can't answer. fuck this shit. i closed my phone and a million emotions hit me. anger. rage. love. hate. confusion. i didnt know what to reply. i couldnt reply but i had to. i could reply but i didn't have to.
i gripped my phone in the flare of inferno kicking off inside of me.
peep noticed, so did billie, and so did Asiam.

i went to open my phone again.
rereading it
over
and over
and over

i threw my phone on the floor, hearing it shatter and run directly through the doors, following the signs of the bathrooms backstage. i needed to process this.

my dad, who cheated on my 'step-mum' had ran off with a 19 year old, fucked loads of other girls and shit whilst she was carrying their 2nd child. my brother is now 2 and 9 months and my sister is 8 months old. i havent spoken to him since. its been 2 years. he has always been a person to take advantage of what he could. he took advantage of me, using my name so say he was talking to me when he was talking to those other girls i hadn't heard from him in months. he was trying to use me because if risen in fame. he does drum and bass and sadly he is good at it. however, his uprising daughter in music would be a chance to get better likes and money.

prick.

i looked into the mirror over the sinks, searching in my own eyes of what to do. i couldnt text anything back anyway seen as my phone sounded like it was in a million pieces. the features of my face reminded me of his.

no. no ciena. no. dont u dare let this man ruin this for u. u are gonna have an amazing time on tour, this is gonna be a milestone in our life. i ran out into billie, peep and Asiam, who were looking for me. i hugged them all and knew everything was gonna be fine.

___________________________

the show

30 mins til show time. we were all ready, smoking a spliff backstage, mentally preparing for what's about to happen. People were already outside the stage. they all had a character showing in them by their style. they weren't just fans to me, they are my family.

as we all stepped on stage early, the crowd cheered. we thought we would add some extra songs on to make the audience feel more special.

we started with our song, and on the part it says "i love you" billie and i looked at eachother and kissed as our part of the song for now was finished. the crowd went fucking crazy. i felt her smile against my lips. that was one way of revealing our relationship.

peep was smiling "who else ships my best friends?" he shouted in the mic, pointing as us. the crowd, again, went fucking insane. although it was only 2500 people, it was a massive step for me. i sat on the edge of the stage and sang my part, holding my familys hand as they sang along.

next song was billies newest song, bellyache, in which me and peep linked arms like school children and skipped around the stage. we danced dramatically whilst billie went along with it. what are we?

we kept dancing and singing, and connecting to the fans as best as we could. we wanted ti put on a show, and i feel like we did. a fan almost passed out whilst billie was singing and we got her some water, an ice pack and we took her backstage to make sure was ok. this is gonna be a good tour.

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when we got back to the hotel, the press was there, and fuck me they were everywhere.
they all wanted a photo of Billie and I kissing, which we wouldn't have a problem with, its just we don't really wanna have a photo if us like that. in-front of our fans, its different.

We all got sm closer, and our second show was in a day and 20 hrs. its a lye in for us then. LETS GET FUCKED UP :)