Steven Easton

Our Families

Monday, May 6

In December of last year, Ava's biological father, Nick, and I met up for the first time. I decided to fly down to Florida with Morgan because we were engaged, and we both agreed that she should be involved in anything to do with raising Ava. That meant that Ava had to stay in Iowa with Uncle Mike and Aunt Jen. Jen was on break, too, as she's the principal of the school I work at, so it worked out for her to watch Ava.

We arrived in Tallahassee, Florida on the Thursday after Christmas in the late afternoon, and Nick and his wife, Melissa, met up with us that night at a restaurant about 20 minutes away from their home. They were already there, sitting at our table and both stood up when we walked in. 

Grabbing my hand in a firm handshake. "Hey, I'm Nick. It's so great to finally meet you." His thick southern accent was about to bring mine back instantly.

"Hey--Steven." I fought back the drawl to the best of my ability. "Thanks for being flexible with our schedule."

Then Nick shook Morgan's hand. "Hi, I'm Nick." He sounded more like a gentleman with her.

"Hi, I'm Morgan." She smiled, but sat down quickly. 

Melissa and I exchanged introductions, as well.

After random small talk about our flights, Nick just looked at me. "Tell me everything about Ava."

"What do you want to know about her?"

"What does she like to do? What does she want to be when she grows up? Does she ever ask about me?" 

"Well..." Taking a sip of Coke, I tapped my fingers against the table with no rhythm. "She really likes to play school, and she likes to read a lot.  She plays soccer and basketball. I was told by Stacey that she did not know who the father was, so that was what I have told Ava."

"Do you believe that now?" Melissa asked me.

Exchanging glances with Morgan, I shrugged. "I don't know with her anymore. When I told her about the DNA test, she wouldn't give me a straight answer whether she knew or not." 

"How do you not know if she knew?" Nick asked. "She either knew or she didn't."

"I know," I agreed, "and I don't see why she wouldn't tell you if she--it's no secret that she wasn't able to take care of Ava on her own, but that also doesn't mean--to be honest, I don't think she did know because--well, honestly, I don't know why she would keep Ava from you."

"I was on drugs," he told me shortly. "I would not have been able to support Ava eleven years ago. I didn't get clean until 2011."

"Good for you, man," I told him genuinely. 

Nick grabbed Melissa's hand. "This woman showed me how to want to be sober." 

She smiled at him. "You did the work though." 

"That's awesome," Morgan praised.

"She may've really not have known because we were not in a relationship that--like, I don't even know if I could say we were in relationship," Nick ran a hand down his face. "We were just friends who made a few mistakes."

The idea of any man sleeping with my sister made me cringe, even if it was eleven years ago and I got Ava through it. "So, if you would've known, would you have taken her?" I needed to know.

He thought about it for a moment, and then he sighed. "I want to look you in the eyes and tell you that had I known that I had a child, everything would've changed, but I can't say that's true because at the time, drugs were more important. Could it have snapped me out of it sooner? Maybe, but I don't know. If it happened while I was clean and I knew, I would've taken her in under my belt without a doubt." He bit his lip before saying, "I want her to know the truth about me. I want her to grow up, knowing that I love her, and I want to do what I can for her, but you're still her legal guardian, and I think it would be best if she stays with you." 

"She will stay with me," I reassured him. "I don't think we should even talk about custody because she doesn't even know you--that's not your fault, but I want to continue to provide a stable environment for her, but if that means you come to see her every once in awhile and want to call her, I won't get in the way unless there's a reason I need to. I will tell you that I do not want you to be alone with her though.

Melissa gave a confused look at that last statement. 

"I appreciate that," Nick said, "and I understand that. I'd probably be the same way. I just don't want her to grow up thinking her dad didn't care about her, ya know?" His voice broke at the end. Melissa was tearing up, too.

"If that's true, she'll know that's true." Giving him a weak smile, I asked, "so how do you want me to tell her?" 

"That is up to you because you know her, but we are more than willing to come up to Iowa if that's easier for y'all." 

"Okay. I will tell her if you buy plane tickets because I don't want to get her excited for nothing."

"What if she doesn't want to meet us though?" Melissa asked.

"Then..." I shrugged. "I doubt that will be an issue because she's curious and not shy." 

We left it at that. They invited us to their house afterwards, and we stayed there until midnight just talking about our families. At the end of the night, I had an overwhelming peace that I hadn't had in a really long time. 

Nick and Melissa are coming over Memorial Day weekend, and I'm telling Ava soon.