Steven Easton

Bon Voyage

Friday, May 31

Well, y'all, it's been good. The last month has been crazy, along with the last two years. Being able to bring back this blog has been an honor and a privilege. Knowing that there are people who have read almost entry means a lot. 

I'm concluding the blog because there is no way I'd be able to keep up with it over the summer as I'm getting married and just have a bunch of stuff going on. I have no idea how I wrote this consistently for six months before, but I'm glad I did. Thank y'all for being loyal readers.

Since this could be my last entry I ever write, I want to conclude some things...

Today was Ava's fifth grade graduation, and, oh, man, I'm glad she's growing up, but... time goes so fast. It feels like just yesterday that I was scrambling to get a two-bedroom apartment, so I could legally start thinking about taking custody.

On the way home from school, I told her that we're getting ice cream because I wanted ice cream, and I make the rules.

"My dad should've stayed for my graduation," she said out of the blue as we were sitting outside, slurping our swirled ice cream. 

"You're lucky that he came at all," I mumbled.

"Did he not want to come?"

"No, he did, but flying up to Des Moines from Tallahassee is super expensive."

"Can we go visit him sometime?"

"Maybe." It has taken everything in me to not snap and tell her to stop asking about her father, but it's not her fault that she's in this mess.

"Do you think he wants me to come visit?"

"Oh, sure." I nodded. 

"Do you think that Melissa would homeschool me?"

"What's wrong with school now?"

"What if I don't make any friends at middle school?"

"You will," I promised, knowing her well enough to predict that she'll be just fine. "Don't waste time worrying about it because there is nothing you can do to stop school from coming around in the fall. Most kids like middle school a lot better than elementary school, anyway. You get to meet so many people, so I'm sure you'll find old friends and make new ones."

"But you didn't have any friends in middle school," she reminded me, not wrong.

Giving her a sad smile, I sighed. "Well, that was because I was shy and read a lot, ignoring everyone around me."

"Why were you so shy?"

"I was afraid people would judge me if I said anything. Here's a lesson that you should learn now: stop worrying about what other people think of you because, in reality, they're so caught up in themselves, they don't really care about the embarrassing moments you remember." I paused. "Take it this way: if you trip and fall, you're probably going to remember it for the rest of your life, but no one else will, and it probably won't affect you in a year."

She gave me a look, telling me that half went in one ear and out the other, but maybe she took some of it in. "I still get to get my ears pierced tomorrow, right?" I guess we were on a different subject now. 

"Yes."

"I guess meeting my dad was worth it then." Our agreement had been that if she was nice to her dad, I'd let her get another piercing in her ear--just a double piercing. Nothing crazy.

I think it's too early to tell, but I gave her a nod. A week ago, she didn't want to see him at all, but now she talks about him all the time. I don't get it. Nick and I had an agreement that he wouldn't contact her personally. 

"And, I get my phone back tomorrow?" She was a bit too excited about this.

"Yes." 

"At midnight?"

Debating whether I wanted to stay up that late, I looked at her. "No, whenever I wake up tomorrow."

"That's not fair."

"Yeah, it is because if you don't sleep because I give you your phone, you'll be cranky tomorrow, and I have to deal with you."

She glared. "Fine." 

"And, besides, is it really worth staying up late for when you've gone this long without it?"

She chose to focus on her ice cream after that, knowing that I wouldn't argue.

Tonight, Paisley came over as originally planned, so Morgan came over to help hold down the fort--in other words, to entertain me. I'm just ready to marry the woman. 22 days! I'm not one to count things down, but this is an exception to the rule. 

I'm thankful that I'll have a partner in crime, and it'll be good for Ava. No joke, Ava asked me when she was going to get her period the other day. I had no idea what to say, so I was like, "Um, ask Morgan. I'm not a girl." 

Anyway, thank y'all for being awesome and even reading this 18 months later. It's been good. Maybe I'll bring this back up in a few years... or five... or ten... We'll see. 

Stay in school; don't do drugs.

Bon voyage!