Steven Easton

Safe Place To Fail

Tuesday, May 14

Yesterday, I wrote about a student who is under a lot of pressure to get all A's, otherwise she gets grounded, and I told the student that her mom could call me if she had any questions.

I got a call today during my lunch break.

"This is Steven Easton." Staring down at my pizza longingly, I accepted the fact that it would be awhile until I would be able to dig in.

"Hi, Mr. Easton, this is Liz Inslee, Ella's mom, and she told me that you will not bump up her grade to an A."

To be honest, I didn't really expect to get a call from Ella's mom because I thought I concluded the situation yesterday. "Not right now, no."

"Why not?"

"Because she doesn't need an A to be a good student, but she will most likely have an A by the end of the semester because the final grade in this class is an essay, and given her history, I can tell that she will do just fine on it, which should bump her up." I paused. "She tells me that she's grounded because of this. Why?"

"Because she needs to learn how to do as well as she can."

"Ma'am, she has put everything she has in this class, and she will more than likely end with an A. I do not believe that she deserves to be punished for this. The beautiful thing about school is that it's supposed to be a safe place to fail, and if you're not even willing to let her have an A-, how is she supposed to learn that it's okay to not be perfect?"

"She doesn't have to be perfect. She just needs to do as well as she can."

"And she is doing as well as she can. Ma'am, you are stressing her out to the point where she broke down yesterday."

"She did?"

"Yes." Hopefully I wasn't breaking Ella's trust by telling her mom this.

"She just gets stressed out over little things. She's fine."

"Why don't you ask her if she's fine." If this woman complains about me, I really don't care because I'm done in three weeks, and I believe in advocating for the student always.

"She's just a dramatic teenage girl."

"Okay, that may be true, but that means there's a root of the problem, and I'd encourage you to not let her feel defined by her grades because that's how she feels right now because if you're grounding her for a .75 percent of a grade, no wonder she's upset."

"She needs to get all A's if she wants to go to college."

"I went to college by being in the National Guard and working my way through high school and college, and I made it out debt free. I got good grades, but I got some B's and A-'s."

"And, I bet you came from a family that had money, too."

Laughing out loud, I told her. "I came from one of the poorest small towns in Alabama. My mom was an alcoholic and died when I was eighteen. My dad was never in the picture when I was growing up. If I could do it with all the odds against me, I have no doubt Ella can do it, but she needs to know that you support her."

"I do support her, thank you very much."

"Is grounding her because she's not at all A's the best thing for her?"

"I believe so. Do you have any kids?"

"I do. She's eleven, and I grounded her from her phone for about a month for going on social media without my permission, so I understand that grounding is sometimes a necessary option." I sighed. "Look, I don't want to tell you how to parent, but I think you need to cut her some slack because she is giving it her all, and it would mean a lot to her if you just acknowledged her hard work. Ella is a smart kid, and she does well, but I don't think she realizes that because all she sees is that A- that is less than perfect."

"This is none of your business," she snapped. "I want to talk to the principal."

"Okay. I'm on your side, and I'm on Ella's side, so I don't know what you're fighting for."

"That's B.S." She said some more specific choice words.

"Okay, well, is there anything else I can do for you?"

"You didn't do anything for me."

"Have a good day." I hung up the phone first because it was pizza time.