Dye | Tyrus/Ambi

Part 10: Blue

Amber's POV

A gentle knock on my door frame makes me look up to see my little brother standing there with two pink lines on both sides of his face. I close my laptop and spin around in my desk chair to face him. His eyes are puffy from crying, but it looks like he's all out of tears. 

"Hey," he says, his voice raspy and worn out. "Can I talk to you again? I don't really think I can talk to anyone else about this."

My heart breaks at the way his voice wavers, and I nod. He walks over and slowly lowers down onto my bed, his tongue between his lips as though he's thinking deeply about something, which he probably is. 

"Why is your face pink?" I ask. 

"Well, that's part of what I need to tell you," he answers. "Amber, I met this boy a while ago, and at first it was nothing. He was just another boy, but now—" his voice cuts out for a moment "—it's different. He helped me with my cooking assignment, and he drew warpaint streaks using pink icing on my face, and—and I liked it. I liked being around him. I felt kinda fuzzy inside, and I never feel fuzzy." He pauses to take in a breath before saying, "Amber, I'm scared."

I get up out of my chair and walk over to sit down next to him on my bed, reaching to take his hand in mine. 

"Why are you scared?" I ask gently. 

TJ's eyes fall to the floor. 

"Because I think I'm gay," comes his brittle whisper. 

Suddenly, I feel guilty. My brother is gay. He's had to deal with this alone, because I never talked to him. I could've been there for him, helped him through this, but instead I hid and kept him from seeing the real me. A good sister would've been honest with him. She would've known enough about her brother to know he was struggling. But I didn't. 

"It's not that scary," I say, feeling a tear of my own drip down my face. 

"How would you know?" he mutters. 

I draw in a deep breath, letting it out as I say, "TJ—I'm gay too."

TJ's eyes go wide and he falls back on the bed, letting go of my hand. He rubs his face as he lets out a groan. 

"That's so obvious," he says. "How did I not know that?" He sits back up, letting his hands fall to his lap. "Whenever we get ice cream, you always get the rainbow flavour."

I let out a laugh.

"Thanks for telling me," he says. 

"Thank you for telling me," I respond. 

He smiles. "So is that girl—you know, the one who came over the other day—is she your girlfriend?"

"Andi? No," I sigh. "She's just a friend."

"That's sucks. So there's no point in trying to embarrass you by telling her about all the weird things you did as a kid, like when you were ten and spoke in an English accent for a week to try and convince everyone you were English, even though everybody already knew you."

"Yes, please don't tell her that," I say with a laugh. 

Our laughter settles into silence, staying like that until TJ asks another question.

"Do you like her as more than a friend?"

I sigh and fall back on my bed. "I'm trying not to."

_______________________________________

That evening, I enter the kitchen to get a glass of water, but I'm stopped by my mother's voice before I can even get to the fridge. She must've just gotten home just now, because she definitely wasn't standing by the island the last time I came downstairs.