little white lies | grayson dolan

𝓉𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎 𝓉𝓌𝑜

•ＧＲＡＹＳＯＮ•

I walk through the doors of my English classroom, my heart excessively beating in my chest. The first thing I notice is Hanna's empty desk in the front. I'm always here before her, so I shrug it off and go to the back. It's been three days since she left my house in tears. I haven't contacted her because I know the damage has already been done. I ruined everything and I will never forgive myself for it.

I slide into my seat and depressingly take my binder out. Professor Slenderman strolls in and places his briefcase on the desk. When I realize that class is starting, my heart cracks even more. Hanna isn't coming, and she never misses class. I swallow my nerves and try to focus on what this bald man in the front of the room is talking about, but it's impossible.

I can't stop thinking about what she's doing. She probably locked herself in her dorm because she's too mortified to face the world. I inhale a deep breath and try to calm my nerves, but nothing works. My mind keeps racing with guilty thoughts. I feel so terrible that I caused this beautiful girl to be upset.

An hour and fifteen minutes goes by painfully slow, which I deserve. I deserve to suffer through a lecture from the most boring man that has ever walked the planet. When he dismisses us, I quickly rise to my feet and exit the room. My throat feels like it's closing up.

As I'm walking into the cool air, my feet stop. I need to fix everything. I can't leave this campus without finding Hanna and explaining everything to her. I grip onto the straps of my backpack as my feet push me in the direction of the large dorm buildings, which are all the way across campus. Her room number is embedded in my brain from the time she messaged me it. Normally I would never have enough courage to do this, but this is for Hanna.

My stomach drops when I eventually walk into the building. As I make my way to her room, I prepare myself for all of the scenarios that could unfold. She could open the door and then slam it shut. She could curse me out until she's blue in the face. Or, simply, she could let me explain my horrible actions.

My thoughts have overpowered me to the point where I don't even realize I'm standing in front of her room. The hallway is completely silent, you could hear a pin drop. My shaky hand gently reaches out to knock on the hard material. I lightly press my knuckles to it and tap three times.

"Hanna?" My low voice calls out. "Uh, it's me. It's Grayson." I let out a deep breath as I stand in the hallway, seconds away from having a heart attack.

"Um, I don't know if you're in there or not, but I really wanted to talk to you about what happened. When I saw you weren't in English I got really worried. Even though I shouldn't have, because it's my fault." I take a step closer to the door and nervously gulp. I can hear some shuffling on the other end.

"I'm really fucking sorry. I want to explain everything because my actions weren't malicious at all. I suffer from-"

The door suddenly creaks open and my eyes widen. Hanna is in front of me, looking completely destroyed. Her blonde hair is tied up into a messy bun. An oversized sweatshirt takes over her upper body, while matching grey sweatpants loosely hang on her hips. Dark circles are under her wet eyes as she sniffles.

"Hanna." I whisper while gulping. "Oh my god, I am-"

"What do you want?" She lowly whispers. "You've already done enough."

"Please, I need to explain everything to you." My body shakes as I stare down at her.

"I heard it all on Friday." She sighs.

"No, you didn't. There's so much you don't know. Give me the chance to explain it all, please." I beg

"Grayson, I feel like such a fucking idiot." She admits with another sob.