little white lies | grayson dolan

𝒻𝑜𝓇𝓉𝓎 𝑜𝓃𝑒

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My dull hazel eyes scan over the lunch menu that is weakly placed between my hands. I've been to this restaurant a million times, yet none of these options seem appetizing. I glance up to my mother across from me, who is happy to be back at our usual table. She practically dragged me out of bed this morning, which is where I've been since winter break started.

"I think I'm going to get the cobb salad." She announces.

Shocker, she always gets that. I simply sigh and continue to scan over the menu.

My silence must make her antsy, cause she lets out a loud breath. "Are you going to get your usual?"

"I'm not really that hungry." I mutter while looking back at her.

"Hanna, this needs to stop." She begins to shake her head. "You can't be depressed for the rest of your life."

"Too bad, because I'm going to." I lowly say.

"It's his loss. He lost the best thing that's ever happened to him."

She's not wrong. Grayson completely changed his personality ever since he broke up with me. He walks around campus like he doesn't care about anything. I don't know what got into his head.

After it happened, I started to think he was cheating on me. He mentioned wanting to see other people, so there's a possibility there was already somebody else.

That's the only reasonable explanation. He had no problem entering the I love you stage early on, so his reason for shattering my heart is invalid.

"He didn't give you a good enough reason to end things." My mother says again.

"I know." I shrug.

"I know it's been hard. Dealing with a broken heart is never easy, but you need to move on with your life."

"It fucking sucks." I let out a frustrated groan.

"I remember my first heartbreak." She leans across the table and holds onto my hand. "I was eighteen, and my high school boyfriend left me to be with another girl. I cried for weeks and weeks, never leaving my bedroom. I never thought I would function ever again."

"So, how did you?" I eagerly ask, desperately needing the magic solution.

"Your grandmother reminded me that I don't need a man to be happy. Strong women can do everything on their own."

I nod my head, appreciating her words. "It just hurts."

She lets out a low sigh. "It's such a shame."

"What is?" I raise an eyebrow.

"That he turned out to be a bad guy. I really liked Grayson."

"So did I." God, it was more than just liking him.

"Oh, honey. We all know it was much more. You were in love with him, it was written all over your face just from one simple dinner." My mother lets go of my hand and shakes her head lightly.

"Yeah, I was. Maybe I still am." Trying to move on and only focus on myself has been challenging.

I basically lock myself in my childhood bedroom and spend everyday reading. Gatsby always clears my mind, but I can't look at Catcher in the Rye the same.

A few boys who went to high school with me started texting me, asking to hang out. Word got out that I was home and newly single, so of course they wanted to see what I was up to. I didn't hang out with any of those douchebags, though. I know I should try to move on and meet new people, but I can't do it. Grayson is still heavily in my heart.