1994.

36. HELP HIM

HELP
HIM

RAESUN'S POV

"JEONGGUK, CAN I please come in?" raesun asked firmly from outside the spare–bedroom door, knuckles tired from knocking so much. she had been timid to even approach the damn wood, but after the aching seconds that had passed were only filled with his silent suffering, she had grown determined to stay there.

but maybe, that last time, she had finally become impatient: she took in a deep breath, staring down as her hand clamped onto the door handle. it had immediately grown hot under her hand's grip, a blazing heat conjured up from her paranoid imagination.

she knows that no matter how irritated or sad jeongguk was, he wouldn't hurt her. not physically. or intentionally, anyway.

so despite the lack of response, raesun took her timid steps forward into the room whilst slowly opening the door. jeongguk was standing by the window, staring out into the breezy day, with his fists balled up by his sides and his shoulders slightly slouched. when the door closed behind her, raesun bit at her cheek as his whole body seemed to tense up at her appearance.

"i'm here to clean your cut. jin wants me... to... check your other wounds too..." she spoke quietly, almost as if the tension in the room had her by the throat with a strong hand.

and his silence didn't exactly help either.

raesun huffed, a pout unconsciously tugging at her bottom lip, "please don't ignore me. i'm here to help."

fortunately he turned around before she got really annoyed, yet the sight of a broken boy hurt her even more: he was nibbling at his thumbnail with red–raw lips, a sunken look to his face as if he were ill. raesun swallowed back a gasp whilst he avoided her stare, the words barely slipping past her teeth, "let me clean it."

he gave a nod, and yet jeongguk still said nothing; raesun sighed, blindly reaching for the first aid kit from under the bed. "sit down," she ordered, and he complied, cupping his cheek all the while.

she stood in front of his frigid figure, carefully removing his hand from his face before sighing yet again. the awkward silence was hard enough to handle, but seeing him so... weak? it tore her in two, wanting to fix him up like the nurse of the soul she was. so there she was applying the cleaning solution to a cotton ball, and shushing him when he hissed.

"i know," her mumble seemed to soothe him, even if it was only a little, "i know jeongguk."

jeongguk grunted, only to wince again when she dabbled more — his hand came up to grip at her wrist, surprise flooding the scene at how his fingers almost burned when touching her skin. as they both froze for a mere second, he slowly took his hand away, but not without leaving her cold once more.

raesun gulped, before finally speaking her true thoughts. "how do you think i feel when i see you like this? hey?" she tapped his chin so he'd finally look at her in the eyes, but when their stares met, he cowered away and dropped the hold. that only made her straighten her lips and furrow her brows, "it's far from nice jeongguk. seeing you bleeding a–and hurt..."

"well get used to it," he mumbled "you'll be seeing it more often."

"you wanna be like that?" her words were spat from an irritated tongue and she was surprised he didn't react like he usually did when someone would speak in such a cruel way, "well what do you think i'm gonna do when you die from being so reckless?"