I wish someone would stab me in the gut because I don't have the courage
Because I constantly feel like a coward.
I held an extension cord for an hour or so and
Then set it down after staring at the ceiling fan in the living room.
I could've got onto a stupid chair and finally be done with it!
BUT NO!
I always have to back out like a fucking coward.
Stared outside my bedroom window at the few cars driving by and
I thought about going out and walking my suicidal ass to a high way
Or a high bridge but nope!
I stayed inside and sat down and cut myself instead like a fucking coward
I FEEL LIKE A FUCK UP, OKAY?
I feel like the whole world is trying to get me or some dumb shit
BUT NO!
It's me, trying to get me!
The voices tell me to kill myself and cut deeper and deeper
And I just sit there and try my best to do as they say with a pair of scissors!
But ya know what?
Those don't work
They aren't sharp enough!
I NEVER FEEL LIKE I'M ENOUGH
I feel sick all the time.
I feel dead inside all the fucking time!
I am so god damn fucking tired of being alive!
I just want to sleep forever
I want to lay down and never open these brown eyes ever again!
I feel LIKE A NOBODY!
Why do I do this to myself?
It feels like I can never get better
Time will heal me, they say
BUT I HAVE BEEN DEPRESSED AND ANXIOUS ALL MY FUCKING LIFE
And there has still been no healing!
I've been getting worse and worse by the months that pass by
I still have no fucking idea of what I want
Or who I am
Or what I should do!
I FEEL SICK!
Sick to my fucking stomach
And sick in the fucking head.
I am one of those people,
Who can never get better
No matter how hard I try
No matter what anyone says
No matter what
I am unhealable.
YOU ARE READING
✧Sweet Sweet Babe✧
PoetryA collection of love poems. Good luck. Most is about heartbreak and some are about love and happiness so yeah. These are all written by me so yes they will be very intimate. (Some May be very depressing)
