Becoming Kelly and Ben

11 / the great toilet paper chase

Turns out Walmart really doesn't give a shit when giving out phones. Paul and Emma each just grabbed a box that had some shitty unknown wireless company on the front, talked to the guy at the tech service desk for a bit, signed some forms and in less than an hour they both had phones. It was scarily simple, and Emma now felt like she had just broken some sort of law or sold her soul to the Illuminati.
quick note from the author: i have no fucking clue how buying a phone works so we're just gonna pretend its this simple AH

"Now I can text you memes!" Paul said, clutching his new phone. "Is that cat with the keyboard still relevant? Bill used to spam me with that all the time."

Emma rolled her eyes. "Okay, grandpa, lets get going."

The two were finally finished with their shopping adventure, and were now on to another adventure of sorts: lugging all their bags of goods home.

After waiting in line for ages and getting the slowest checkout person ever, Paul handed over the money to pay for their things. Emma protested immediately, but Paul assured her that she could pay him back at home. After the payment they were left with ten bags to carry. Paul grabbed six, and Emma grabbed four.

"I look like a wimp, only carrying four." Emma complained. "Gimme another one."

"No, it'll be too heavy." Paul said. "It's fine, I can carry these. You just focus on not ruining your leg on the way back."

And with that they were off.

————

It took about ten seconds for the pair to see why cars were invented.

They were barely out of the parking lot when one of the bags broke, spilling snacks and toilet paper all over. Paul managed to disperse the contents into the other five bags he was carrying, but it took nearly five minutes of shuffling for him to get there. By then Emma was pouring with sweat.

"We really did not plan this well at all." She groaned as they continued their trudge home. A few teenagers stared at them and their Walmart haul as the two walked past a skate park. "We look homeless."

"We'll be fine, this walk will keep us in shape into we save up enough for cars." Paul sighed, shifting the bags a bit. "Then we can get fat, just like real Americans."

Emma laughed a bit too hard at that.

Another broken bag and two blisters later, they were back home. Without even thinking, Emma followed Paul into his house. They were basically roommates anyways, and they needed to divvy up their stuff; but there was definitely a part of her that didn't want to leave Paul.

"Let's begin the dividing of the loot!" Paul cheered, pouring out all the bags onto the dining table. Most of the stuff then proceeded to fall to the floor; because no matter how enthusiastic Paul was, he could not expand the table to accommodate the stuff or defy gravity to prevent the stuff from colliding with the floor

"Well that was spectacular." Emma said with a grin.

"Shut up."

The pair began to sort through the mess. Emma grabbed her phone and a two pack of paper towel and stuffed them into a plastic bag. Paul had already started to place each item into various organized piles. He explained that he was trying to keep everything neat, but after a bit it was clear that he was trying to keep track of what was his and what was Emma's so she could accurately pay him back.

"You're really OCD, huh Matthews?" Emma said. "I bet you balance your checkbook, like, every day."

Paul was silent, but he blushed. So she knew that he definitely was a checkbook nazi.