CHAPTER SIX:
I really didn't wanna go back into that house so I tried to run again. But I have practically no stamina so i got tired quickly and Cole caught me. I was beyond done with this shit so i just walked up to my room and closed the door. After a minute Abriana opened the door and they all filed in. Matt stood in front of my window, Abriana locked my door and Cole came and sat down next to me.
"What's going on?..." i said hesitantly while looking around the room.
"We know you will try to escape so we're blocking all of your exits for now, and now that you can't escape, we need to talk." Oh shit, I really dont wanna talk about this. Talking about cutting only makes me want to cut more.
"It's about your cutting."
"Well no shit." I rolled my eyes and exhaled loudly to show my annoyance.
"Hey! We're just trying to help, we want you better you little shit." I knew Abriana was joking around but Matt and Cole thought she was serious, so when we started laughing they looked super confused.
After a few seconds, me and Abriana calmed down enough to talk seriously and i guess Cole picked up on that so he started talking again.
"This is a serious issue and we want to help you get through it." He looked so sad, i almost felt bad and the i realized he's the one who wanted to talk about it.
"What do you want to know?"
"Why?"
"No shit. Can you be more specific?" i rolled my eyes.
"When and why did you start it?"
"I guess i don't have a choice do I?"
They all shook their heads no.
"Here we go then. It was the summer before eighth grade, around 11 months ago to be more specific. People started finding out i am gay and they weren't too supportive. My mom checked my phone and she saw all the hate i was getting and she said, 'Is this true' and i was like,'Yeah...' and she laughed and told the whole family and they hated me for it. A couple days later they kicked me out and I found that apartment you found me in when I tried to kill myself. I picked the lock and I've lived there for the last 10 ½ months. Anyways, the hate from my family and the hate from anonymous people caught up to me and i heard about how cutting was a way to help cope with the stress and anxiety and I have pretty much been cutting since then." i was on the verge of tears, reliving the past is not fun at all. I wiped my tears and looked around. I saw Matt and Cole sat in silence looking shocked and Matt looked a little guilty. Abriana wasn't as shocked because she had heard the story before, but she still looked sad. She hated it when i told this story, it made her want to go hurt my family more than I did.
"So, that's the story. Questions? Comments?" just like me to try and make a joke out of this. Nobody said anything but Matt looked like he wanted to cry, and Cole stood up. I assumed he was leaving, but he walked over to me and hugged me. i felt super awkward because he sat back down next to me and kept hugging me. I heard him sniffle and felt a wet spot on my shirt below where his eyes were and i knew he was crying. i hugged back and just kinda sat there. Abriana cleared her throat and me and Cole scooted away from each other. The air filled with an awkward tension.
"Can i have a minute alone with James?" Everyone turned to Matt and they nodded and left. A few seconds later they were gone and we heard footsteps going away from my room.
"How can I help you?" I tried to say that in the most annoyed tone i could muster up.
"You left out a crucial part in your story."
"Oh really."
"Yeah, why did you tell them it was anonymous hate? We both know it was me and my friends." he looked confused, ashamed and guilty at the same time. I knew it was him and his friends.
"I know."
"Then why didn't you tell them? If the roles were reversed, I would've made that a key point in the story."
"I know. However, even though i could've gotten them mad at you, I didn't want to. I don't throw people under the bus like that." i said that as though it were obvious.
"You are somethin' else James." He shook his head and left, obviously still confused.
I was really tired, but I didn't want to sleep, so i went downstairs. I was walking down the staircase when i heard my name come up in their conversation. There was some music playing in the background so I couldn't hear exactly what they were saying but it sounded like they were talking about my cutting and then I heard Abriana ask Matt why he stayed after. I'm almost positive he said he wanted to apologize. Liar. Whatever, I'm not going to call him out on it. I wanted to hear more but the next thing I knew everything started spinning, my vision went black, and I was falling down the stairs.
