I DON'T KNOW YOU

38.) graduation

❝ℚ𝕦𝕖𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕚𝕒 - 𝕒 𝕡𝕝𝕒𝕔𝕖 𝕗𝕣𝕠𝕞 𝕨𝕙𝕚𝕔𝕙 𝕠𝕟𝕖'𝕤 𝕤𝕥𝕣𝕖𝕟𝕘𝕥𝕙 𝕚𝕤 𝕕𝕣𝕒𝕨𝕟, 𝕨𝕙𝕖𝕣𝕖 𝕠𝕟𝕖 𝕗𝕖𝕖𝕝𝕤 𝕒𝕥 𝕙𝕠𝕞𝕖, ❞ -𝘶𝘯𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸𝘯

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• F U N N E H •

    ❝.....𝔸ℕ𝔻 𝕋𝕆𝔾𝔼𝕋ℍ𝔼ℝ, we all walked into the building,❞ the words leave my lips finally.

    Blurry. Everything is so blurry. But in a good way. The crowd is so rocked that they shake and quake in my vision. The lights are so bright that they light up the world to the point of blindness, and the music is humming so loudly as a chorus in the background like a livid symphony that just fills my ears. Blurry is the only way to describe all of my senses and how they feel. Backgrounded blur, but in a good way.

    The purple silk cloth feels so comforting, all draped down my body to above my ankles. The little strings swing back and forth from the cap sitting atop my head. The crisp touch of the paper entitling me to my future feels in the grasp of my hands, when it grazes along my fingertips as if I can't fathom the fact that this is where we stand with what we hold in our hands. The jingling of the medal dangling from the ribbon around my neck, its designs etched into its golden skin.

    "Well, Kat, do you have any words of wisdom left to share with everyone after your harrowing adventure?" the announcer inquires to me as he's stepping down the stairs.

    I smile, "Well, I suppose you can assume I was terrified throughout the entire ordeal. You've heard me tell my story, after all. But yet, I don't feel worried anymore. You would think I would be, considering this is our graduation and we've no way of knowing what's going to happen now."

    "Care to elaborate, Miss Kat?" he inquires to me, almost theatrically with an incredible amount of enthusiasm.

    "Please, call me Funneh. I haven't gone by Kat in years," I softly chuckle, "well, I think everyone by now has heard of me and my friends and our little 'adventure'. And if you didn't before, now you have if you were listening to my story just a moment ago. Truth be told, it was terrifying. I was terrified because I didn't know what would happen. The loss of our home, the disappearance of my friends, everything. The entire ordeal I had been in the dark of what could happen. And I think that's how a lot of people around me feel now: lost.

    "The thing about growing up, about making it this far is that we don't know what the future has in store for us. No longer are we scared little kids, but instead grown. We're no longer teenagers, but instead young adults who have no idea what they're doing but know they're doing something. And that's okay. It's going to be okay.

   "My biggest fear was anything having to do with confrontation. I didn't know what would happen because of it, and I didn't want to become lonely over a confession. To be alone, ignorant, and fearful, that was a pure nightmare that I couldn't imagine living in. And yet, I was living it. I was running around and surrounding myself with people, but the idea of speaking out, of confessing everything I ever desired or kept hidden in fear of being rejected or called out, it terrified me.

    "I know a lot of people have viewed me as an extrovert, as someone who wasn't afraid to shout from the top of my lungs or swing from tree to tree. But inside, I'm terrified. Heights scare me. And yet I've found myself jumping from rooftops, from tightrope-walking along a bridge over a seemingly endless chasm. And let me tell you, I didn't do it because I was fearless; I did it because I had others there for me. I did it because I knew there were greater consequences if I didn't try.