DESPERATE 💔

chapter 3

This was probably the worst phase of my life .
I was hurt , broken , depressed and what not.
I cried myself to sleep every night .

I was slowly getting used to it .
It was hard at first but then I coped up with it .

Coped up with the fact
that , nobody cares about me ,
I don't deserve love and care .

I deserve nothing in this world.

And it wasn't something I could openly talk about .

It's not like I didn't have anyone , to openly talk about it , I just didn't trust anyone , enough .

I didn't want to seem desperate for sympathy .

At that moment of time, my parents came to the realisation that my younger was unlike the other children of her age.

She had a health problem.

My mom went into depression.

It took her quite a long time to overcome the fact that one of her children wouldn't have a normal life like the other kids of her age.

It was painful for her, and I couldn't bring myself to tell her about my emotions and internal suffering.

It was the only thing I could do to not burden her with more stress and pain.

I didn't want them to think that their elder daughter was involved in an obtuse drama in school, so I had no other choice.

I decide to keep the pain to myself.

I had to learn to put up with it.

I let the pain and storming emotions take over.

To make me stronger and resist the damage dealt.

I let that become my support system fed by the emotions I kept under cover.

Because it was the only source of emotion I felt.

Instead of letting it drag me down, in a bad way, I started living on those.

The last thing I wanted was to burden someone with these emotions.

Hope my writing skills are not that bad.