chapter 6

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Did he have to be the one to capture my heart ?
I asked myself , but in vain .

I lost myself because of an immature high school love story.

I was just so depressed, that I stopped looking after myself .

my skin,
my health,
my weight
And most importantly my mental health .

I despised myself ,

basically puberty hit me hard .

Well I know it's hard to believe.
But it all happened I gained weight . My complexion changed from fair and rosy to dark and oily .

They call it puberty I call it the literal phase of insecurity .

I also discovered that I had a skin condition, which led to acne and anxiety , which basically took a tremendous toll on my health .

The doctors always told me to stay happy or it would take a tremendous effect on my health .

My parents were were broken .

I had to change, not for me but for them , I had to be happy for them .
I was their support system and only hope.
I couldn't let them down because  of my stupid feelings .
I just couldn't.

My mum used to say
"you know we aren't going to live forever, you need to learn your responsibilities . Your life is different from that of your friends .You will take care of your sister after we die , won't you. "

I used to smile at her reassuringly and tell her " Obviously, is that even a question, and please don't talk about deaths "

She would say " I won't " And then she would engulf me into a tight hug.

I was trying to hold back tears, but I just couldn't anymore .
I let it all out , all the pain , all the sorrow everything.

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