Alyssa put her arms around Tyler's neck. Tyler fixed his eyes on hers- his hands reaching for comfort. When Alyssa felt that he was hesitating, she smiled and took her hands to his and guided them to her waist. Tyler smiled back, his auburn eyes making Alyssa's heart beat faster every second. The wrecked church had some space between the set of chairs and the podium, where sunlight shone slightly through the stained glass- and there, they stood, their arms around each other, staring into each other's eyes.
"Alyssa," Tyler spoke, his voice like the waves crashing over the shore.
"Shhh," said Alyssa- feeling a tingle of happiness.
It felt so good to have some romance, after the significant era of just playing around. She had someone at the back of her mind, like a trauma, but she tried her best to push it deeper into a corner.
"Alyssa?" Tyler spoke again.
Alyssa raised an eyebrow as if encouraging him to go on. Tyler shook his head.
"Nothing." He answered, his hands slowly coming up until it reached her cheeks. They lingered there, softly touching her cheeks, and then brushing her hair to her ear. Alyssa stretched over to his shoulders and rested her head over them.
It's been over a week since she has officially dated Tyler. After the Tacobell incident, Tyler took her over to the car and made his confession. Finally claiming Alyssa, Tyler felt fulfillment while Alyssa was worried but gratified at the same time. She was worried about her sociopathic sassiness, which made her have no long-lasting relationships since she....since... since her unforgettable past.
"Hey, Alyssa?" Tyler called.
Alyssa nodded, her head still fixed over his shoulders, admiring his scent, the deep male scent she knew she yearned for too long. It may be perfume she was smelling, but it still felt wonderful.
"I wanted to ask- Do, do you mind coming over and- help our band?" Her head shot up quickly, but her hands remained over his shoulders.
"What? Me? Joining your band?" Alyssa asked, bewildered.
"No, not joining- uh, just- watching us practice and- feedbacking- whatever! It'd be nice to have someone comfortable watching us." Tyler explained. Alyssa thought it through. She knew she would have to stay loyal to her friends, Ryan's band- but it came through her mind that she wasn't Blake. She was Tyler's girlfriend, as long as she cared, and Blake was Ryan's. Her mind concluded it was okay for her to help.
"I don't mind." This process of thinking only took a few seconds before her mouth talked it out.
"Great! I'll text you once schedules come out." Tyler laughed.
Alyssa came closer to him, her grin broad. Her hands searched over his flat, hard stomach, an excellent result from exercise until Tyler took those hands and took them to his chest. Alyssa watched those overlapped hands.
A few moments later, when their breath calmed, Alyssa could feel the heartbeats. It flowed over her veins and to her own heart, someone else's heartbeat, making it ache.
She took the hand away hastily, her eyes hurt and confused.
The sceneries, sounds, feelings around her, shifted away. She was back in the valleys. The small town in Colorado, where she was truly from, and where she lost herself. There she was, her body laid beside a boy she knew well. Too well it hurt her.
* * * * * * *
Ethan looked at her. His dark blue eyes, those perfectly soft lips, the collar of his shirt open, the tender voice he spoke with.. everything that turned Alyssa's life into a beautiful fantasy long ago, as well as ruining the rest of it. She leaned over to Ethan and whispered in his ears, words she would never imagine herself saying- words of everlasting, true love. Ethan grinned and gently ran his fingers over her hair, keeping her head close to his chest.
It hurt. It hurt too much for Alyssa.
"Alyssa? You okay?" Tyler asked, breaking Alyssa out of the dark dream. Alyssa looked up into Tyler's eyes.
These eyes weren't dark blue. They were dark brown, with a shade of gray light shining through it. Alyssa nodded. Her heart ached at the memory. Those eyes aren't dark blue. She thought to herself. They aren't. She kept repeating silently.
"Is it one of the dizziness? Come on; let's go." Tyler said, taking Alyssa's hand. Alyssa softly pulled it away, not angrily, but softly, like slipping away, wordlessly. Tyler gazed at his empty hands, then at Alyssa, and shook his head.
He wound his arm around Alyssa's back and let his hand hold the other side of her upper arm. Alyssa felt relaxed. He whispered-"It's okay. I'll take you home." When Alyssa came home, Tyler paced around his car and opened the door for her. Alyssa met his eyes, eyes without anger or any resentment of her illness. She smiled one last time, before walking into her house. She managed to wave at the Corvette driving away. Alyssa entered the house and found it empty.
It wasn't until she perched on her bed that she felt somehow better. A sudden wave of energy then surged through her, and her mouth flew open.
She screamed.
A long, aching, sad, scream.
Her arms flailed around until it found settlement and gripped onto the white covers. Her mind whirled, of unknown emotions she always feared of: something, maybe a scar from the past. The pain didn't wash away as Eliza had told her. She screamed long until her throat felt dry and stopped. Her whole body needed support, and she dropped helplessly onto the bed, almost like dropping dead. She yearned to love, to be loved.
And yet she had these scars to tell her she would only get hurt again.
But she knew, she knew Tyler was going to change all this. Tyler wasn't like Ethan and wasn't going to be.
At least so she hoped, curling into the covers, gasping for air she lost from yelling.
YOU ARE READING
UGLY (Vol.1)
Любовные романыDon't hide it. Don't mask it. Don't tape it. Let your ugly side out, baby. I'll still love you for it. Alyssa doesn't trust boys. However, she can't hide the fact that she wants to be loved. And then Tyler comes into her life. Looking like a model...
