Forever N ever (Book 13 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 1

Demi

There have been many days, in my life, that are forever emblazoned on my brain, but April 23, 2035 was the most recent. And that meant it was the most raw. I replayed, in my head, moments, from that day. Hearing my name being called, to go into the judge's chambers to end my marriage, was something I would always remember. I had to take a deep breath, close my eyes, then open them, again, before I was able to make my way into that office. I got through that day, though & now I just had to have faith in my decision. I had to trust my heart. I also had to believe everything would work out the way it was supposed to. Let go. Let God.

I also had to rely on my friends & my family to help me stay strong. This was too important & this was too huge to handle it alone. A few people, including Marissa & Wilmer, knew exactly what happened between me & Nick, so those were the ones I could confide in the most. I may have kept some pertinent details to myself, but it wasn't because I didn't trust them, it was because I didn't want them to have to keep even more secrets. 

Marissa was there for me & was the most helpful, because she knew exactly what I was going through. She didn't judge me or Nick & remained impartial, as best as she could. Wilmer was there to make me take my mind off of what was happening in my life. He made me laugh, as always & let me cry on his shoulder, if I needed to. Wilmer also didn't judge me or Nick, which was one thing I worried that my family wouldn't be able to do.

Another thing that Wilmer helped me with, was getting me to see that I was being selfish & was subconsciously hurting Nick through my kids, something I never wanted to do. I was punishing Nick, in many ways, which I knew I needed to stop doing. After Wilmer gave me a stern talking to, I knew I would have to apologize to Nick. I needed to be friends with him. I needed to let go of the anger toward him, so we could co parent together, in a healthy way. I also needed to gain the trust back, even if we weren't together, I still needed to trust him again. 

I was so glad when the kids were done with school, for the summer. It was one less thing I had to worry about, plus with the world knowing about me & Nick splitting up, the kids didn't have to hear crap from kids at school. The media was talking about our breakup, but they didn't have details on the divorce & it would stay that way. As far as they knew, we were separated & could only speculate on a divorce or any details about it. 

I had a busy summer planned, which I was grateful for. Besides my book tour, I also had the movie, J.D. & I had filmed the year before, coming out, so I would be doing press for that as well. I was writing new music & wanted to release some songs I had written about my heartbreak, but I was also hesitant because it was so personal. I hadn't released something this personal, through my music, in years. 

Usually our family went on a vacation, in the summer, so this year, I was going to use my press tours for family time. Of course, the moment I mentioned anything to the kids, they all wanted to remind me that their dad should be going. They weren't giving up on us either. I loved it, though. I loved that they were so adamant about being a family. 

One thing that made me realize I needed to do something, when it came to Nick & I, was when I got Avery's report card on the last day of school. His grades had declined since the first half of the school year & since he had been withdrawing a little since Nick & I split up, I figured his grades were a direct result from that. I had to talk to Nick. And I had to get Avery back into therapy, as soon as possible. 

Avery's birthday was on Saturday, so that was one reason I didn't harp on him when I saw his report card. The rest of the kids did pretty well, considering what they had been dealing with at home. Reid's grades weren't great, but they weren't awful. He had an IEP, at school, because of his learning disability, so the grades were better than they had been, before he had the IEP in place.