Forever N ever (Book 13 in the Forever Series)

Chapter 5

Demi

When Nick put his arms around me, it only made me cry harder. He shushed in my ear & rubbed my back, making me miss what we had, for a moment. He must have seen the TV in the other room because he loosened his grip & cleared his throat. When he spoke, his voice was shaky. "Why are you watching our wedding DVD?"

I lifted my head but couldn't look up at Nick's face, because I didn't want to look into his eyes. I wiped the tears that were on my cheeks. "Mercy was watching it when I came downstairs & I made her turn it off. Then she ran upstairs & I went to straighten up the living room & I saw the memory book she left out." My voice cracked so I stepped away from Nick & waved my hand toward the TV in the other room. "I shouldn't have even looked at the page but I couldn't help it. It was the memory of our wedding & then I looked up at the TV & I realized she didn't turn it off. She had it paused on my face, looking so happy...that's when you rang the doorbell." I took in a deep breath, through my teeth, then started shaking my head as I felt the anger building up. I was mad at Nick but mostly I was mad at Mercy. I turned my furious expression toward Nick. "Why did you have to cheat on me?" I asked in a hiss then walked into the family room to shut off the DVD.

"I'm sorry, Demi. I wish I could take it back." Nick came into the room.

I dropped the remote on the table & slammed the memory book closed. "Well you can't." I replied, bitterly.

"Why are you so angry at me right now & throwing what I did, in my face? I have apologized & I will keep trying to make it up to you, but I can't change what happened. You divorced me when I desperately wanted to save our marriage so I think I am being punished enough for what I did. In fact, I'm not sure if there is anything else you could do to punish me more than taking away your love. I miss being someone you loved. And every day is a struggle getting out of bed, because I don't have your love anymore, but I do. I do because of the kids. It used to be the hope that one day you'd forgive me & give me another chance but that hope is fading with every day that passes."

I sighed, looking down at the memory book that had a photo from our wedding day on the cover. My heart was breaking & for a moment I regretted the decision I had made. I closed my eyes, briefly then opened them & swallowed seeing Nick's sad expression. "I hope you don't really only get out of bed because of the kids & I'm sorry if you feel like you're someone I don't love anymore because that's not true. I will always love you & I'm sorry if it seems like I'm mad at you. It's not really you that I'm mad at right now. Yes I am mad at what you did because it led me to do something I really didn't want to ever do, but that's in the past. I will try to not throw it in your face & I think that will get easier over time. I'm trying to forgive & forget. I have forgiven you, but the forgetting part is what I'm struggling with."

"What part are you trying to forget? Our love? Our entire marriage? Or just what I did?"

"What you did." I replied, quietly, glancing toward the entrance to the family room since the kids were scattered all over the house. I could hear some sounds letting me know they weren't close, thankfully.

"I'm glad you've forgiven me. So who is it that you're really mad at, if it's not me, at the moment?"

"Your daughter."

"I have three of them, so can you be more specific?"

"Mercy. I'm mad about this." I waved my arm toward the tv, then waved it over the scrapbook that was on the table.

"Because she was watching our wedding DVD?"

I shook my head, angrily, crossing my arms. "Not just that. She's been leaving these little easter eggs..." I paused trying to find the right words to express my annoyance. "Let's just say she's been working overtime for the last few weeks."