Jump then Fall: Falling Series 2 (Modern Stucky College AU)

Fifteen

At first, the pair just laid there on their backs with their arms touching. To Steve, it was obvious of what they had lost. They had lost the ease between them. Had lost the way that they would hold each other. And thanks to the alcohol, the tears started to freely fall from his eyes.

Trying to be as discreet as possible, Steve sniffled and wiped his wet face. Of course, because they were laying silently in the dark, Bucky wasn't completely oblivious. And because Bucky wasn't oblivious, he rolled onto his side to face Steve. Softly, Bucky asked, "Hey, what's wrong?"

Steve just shook his head and sniffled as he tried to calm himself. Wiping his eyes as more tears fell much to Steve's chagrin. All Steve could do was pray for the tears to stop. Steve didn't understand why he was so emotional.

"Stevie, c'mon," Bucky soothingly pleaded. Tenderly, Bucky reached out and touched Steve's hand, "Talk to me, please?"

Shaking his head again, a racking sob escaped Steve's small body. That caused Bucky to pull Steve into him. Still crying, Steve buried his face in Bucky's chest and wrapped his arms around Bucky's torso. Holding each other close, Bucky comfortingly whispered, "It's okay. You're okay. We're okay."

"I... just... miss... you... so... much," Steve sobbed into Bucky's chest.

Bucky gave Steve a comforting squeeze and smoothed his hand over Steve's hair as he softly reminded, "I'm right here, you don't have to miss me. Stevie, I'm right here."

Steve shook his head. But before he could explain himself further, another sob broke through him. Steve knew that he needed to stop. He didn't want to seem pathetic. Especially not in front of Bucky. Yet, the tears kept falling. Wetting Bucky's bare chest in the process. Even dampening Bucky's attractive chest hair with his tears.

"It's okay," Bucky whispered, his chin resting on Steve's head. As he soothingly rubbed Steve's back, hoping to comfort Steve further while he said, "I'm right here. I'm right here."

As Steve's sobs started to calm, Bucky still held him close. His hand still stroked Steve's crooked spine. Steve wasn't sure if it was the comforting movement. Or if it was Bucky's tranquil tone. Whatever it was, Steve's tears soon ceased.

Sensing that Steve was in a better state of mind, Bucky asked, "You okay."

Nodding, Steve sniffled and croaked, "Yeah."

"Wanna talk about it?" Bucky softly questioned.

"No," Steve's voice was hoarse. Slightly shaking his head, Steve simultaneously nuzzled further into Bucky's strong frame.

"You sure?" Bucky asked. When Steve nodded his confirmation, Bucky offered, "It might make you feel better."

Steve knew that he should talk about what he was feeling. But Steve couldn't help but be entirely terrified that it would push Bucky away. And with Bucky holding him so close, he wasn't ready to give that up. Not yet, at least. Not ever, really.

"C'mon," Bucky pleaded. His tone soft, and welcoming. Even as he gently teased, "A big tough guy like you going soft on me?"

Playfully, Steve scoffed. Wanting to make Bucky understand just how important he was to Steve, Steve gave his torso a tender squeeze. Tilting his head slightly, Steve unexpectedly yawn and asked, "Can we talk about it tomorrow?"

Bucky was quiet for a moment, before conceding, "Okay."

Although Steve would've preferred to stay in their current position, Bucky moved to lay on his back. Steve was sure that Bucky wouldn't want to hold him, and was preparing himself to be fine with just sharing his bed with Bucky. But then Bucky wrapped his arm around Steve's torso, reeling him in.

Getting comfortable, Steve rested his head on Bucky's chest. Feeling secure with Bucky's arm around his waist, Steve could feel the weight of the night wash over him, leaving him extremely fatigued.

"Hey, Steve," Bucky softly questioned in the dark while his hand mindlessly stroked at Steve's arm, causing goosebumps to form.

Steve cleared his throat and asked, "Yeah?"

For a moment, Bucky was silent and Steve wondered if Bucky had spoken at all. Of course, once Bucky had talked, Steve wished that he hadn't. Especially when he sounded so... hurt.

"Did you even open your present?"

So, he had noticed, was the first thought that crossed Steve's mind. Swallowing down the lump forming in his throat, Steve said, "Of course, I did."

Bucky was quiet again. Steve couldn't help but worry his lower lip with his teeth as he waited for whatever Bucky was going to say. And like before, Steve couldn't help but wish that Bucky hadn't.

"Then, why haven't..." Bucky paused and asked, "Why don't you use it?"

Steve shrugged and fibbed, "I don't know."

"Jesus," Bucky scoffed, "You don't gotta lie to me."

"I'm not," Steve protested.

"Steve, c'mon," Bucky sighed. After a moment, Bucky continued, "If you don't... like it... you could always give it back."

"No," Steve pushed himself up on his elbow, so he could look down at Bucky. Trying to reassure Bucky, Steve confessed, "It's beautiful."

"Then why didn't you say anything?" Bucky asked, his brows set in a deep, confused and hurt furrow. "Why don't you use it?"

Because I'm in love with you, Steve thought. But he knew that he couldn't tell Bucky. He needed to protect himself. At all costs. So, Steve lied, "I'm waiting until my current one is full."

Bucky studied Steve. And for a moment, Steve was sure that Bucky was going to call him out on his shit. Thankfully though, Bucky simply asked, "You sure you like it?"

"I love it," Steve honestly answered, while thinking, I love you.

Seemingly satisfied with Steve's confession, Bucky's expression smoothed. Again, Bucky reeled Steve back in to hold him close. Steve didn't mind though as he nuzzled further into Bucky's side and closed his eyes.

Softly, Bucky wished Steve, "Goodnight."

"Goodnight," Steve quietly replied, allowing his body to be taken over by sleep.