Take Me To Mars (Tododeku)

Chapter 6: Red Wine

The next day I drank heavily, I was deeply confused with myself and with the two men I had found my interest in. One looks nice but is an asshole and the other looks like an asshole but is a genuine person once you get to know him. I sighed as I thought about the two. Kacchan and I had been over for a while now but I still catch myself thinking about him and how he was the center of my life for a long time. It hurt to think about it. But now, I had another person to think about too. That Todoroki Shoto. I winced as I had remembered our two first encounters, they weren't pleasant but, the third one made me think differently now that I dwelled in it.

The urgency and doubtfulness that resided in his voice as he desperately wanted to tell me something. It was strange, I haven't known him for a while and yet; I feel a great deal of emotion for him. Emotions that I couldn't explain properly. All I did know was that I yearned to see him again. I wanted to know what he so desperately was trying to tell me that night, when his body slumped against the door pressing against mine, as if he'd come crawling back to me, even though we weren't even dating. I felt my heart thump therapeutically as images of his devilish smile and piercing eyes captivated my head, this feeling I felt when I thought about him were strong but, I also felt guilty. There was Bakugo too.

"Ugh." I lifted myself out of the hardwood chair and moved eagerly to the door that opened to the extroverted world. I was a bit drunk but not enough to fall to the floor. I wanted to see him again. I wanted to get this feeling off my chest and sort it out. It's like experimenting, except it's a one way ticket to hell or heaven.

Realization pricked at my mind as I opened the messages to my phone, to examine the unknown number that had texted me previously about the recent incident that had occurred. I knew who it was now, the man I wanted to see right at this second. I didn't know what to feel. It's clear what his intentions were. I don't know if he meant it to be helpful or to fuck up my friendships but that didn't worry me now. I just needed to see him. I quickly pressed the message box and typed frantically and cautiously. What I was doing was dumb, it was so clear that I was naive not to understand the feelings of what proper love felt like. But I couldn't care less.

"Meet me at Mars's bar & brewery." I sent the text unwillingly and didn't dare to look at the reply that was awaiting me in the distance. I was too scared to look at what he had to say but a gut feeling told me he'll meet me anyways. It felt so weird to text people let alone someone I was interested in, an inquiry that had a meaning behind it. I didn't think about it too long but I wondered if I had ever texted Kacchan with coded messages or sentences expressing feeling. Were we even that close to be even defined as lovers?

The air inside the bar was warm as it cramped the room with a weird humid feeling, the air con gave off a wet sticky must that stuck to the skin of whoever entered the room and so that was the uncomfortable feeling I was dealing with. I felt scared as I imagined how lonely and dorky I must look, waiting on someone who might not even show up. I was beginning to feel stupid until I felt a well firm hand grip my shoulder.

I turned to see Todoroki loom over me, standing straight and decent as his clothes showed privilege and authority. It made me want to shrink. But there wasn't enough time in the world at the moment, at least for me, "Hey." I drank a glass of moonshine beer that was offered for free for some odd reason as I spoke to the man who sat next to me, curiosity burning in his gaze.

"Hey." he avoided my gaze as he ordered a drink of his own. His voice sounded distant as the heavy feeling of something bothering him was visible from the way he positioned himself. Which was very awkwardly. He breathed in a couple of short breaths and proceeded to drag up the dry conversation, "I know this won't solve anything but, I'm really sorry for all the previous encounters we've had. It wasn't kind of me to do that to you and If I'd known your situation better, I wouldn't have done what I did." guilt trekked over him as he didn't lift his gaze off of his drink. He looked totally lost. Though what he was saying doesn't really do anything for me I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him.

"It's ok. Though I still won't recover quickly from it, I know you're genuine about this. And for that, I forgive you." I said cautiously. I didn't really want to spill anything accidentally to him as I still couldn't completely trust him.

"I'm glad to hear." he sighed heavily, "I really like you, you know?" I felt frozen as I turned to look at him to see if he was serious or not but the light smile that was scribbled all over his face told no lies. I felt my heart churn as I didn't know what to do. I was so flustered that I couldn't find the correct words. "I guess it's because you're so open and kind. You give people the chance to explain themselves and you understand what has to be done in order to let everyone else around you be happy, even if it means the cost of your own happiness." he fussed with his glass as a steady red flow of blush settled on his pale skin. He looked so innocent and for once I couldn't help but realize my own feelings as well.

"I really don't know what to say." I stuttered as my heart pounded. Todoroki let out a fit of laughter as he got up from his chair and slipped money to the bartender, paying for both of our drinks.

Wine slid down my throat as I sat on the soft couch that filled Todoroki's apartment. We were laughing and enjoying ourselves, he looked beautiful whenever he smiled and when his eyes met mine I always felt butterflies fill my stomach. He was so different than what I initially thought when I first met him. It made me go blank, he was so well with words. But at the same time I was confused and conflicted, like an ongoing war was raging inside my body.

I couldn't just ignore the other man I had loved, who stepped back into my life so quickly after a few days. Bakugo and Todoroki contrast and contradict each other so well that it made my head whirl. But something felt different. Bakugo didn't make me feel this certain way that Todoroki made me feel. Todoroki was so comfortable to be around and deep down inside a soft soul that didn't get enough recognition it deserved.

Todoroki stopped laughing and looked at me and paused. He looked hesitantly away until he quickly rushed in, pressing his lips softly against mine until it grew rougher. I felt hot and dizzy as I didn't feel the need to let go, his tongue felt warm as it wrapped around my own. It was nice and pleasurable like we were the only two on Cloud9.

Soft moans escaped from me as I felt warm hands graze softly against my back, making their way up to my neck while they lay protected under my shirt. My heart was driving me crazy, he was driving me crazy. He was so good at this.

"T-todoroki." I stammered. He looked at me with doubtful lust as he let his attention from my body get nagged by my voice, "I don't know if I can do it." I looked away and softly got up. "It's just too quick." Todoroki gave me a look of reassurance and steadily got up to join me.

"Whenever you're ready I'll be ready for you." alarm shot in my body as the answer I thought I would receive wasn't harsh but, soft and understanding. The tenderness shown in his eyes as he grabbed me by the hand. "Just know that whatever you and Bakugo had will never amount to this." 

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tea has been spilled