Triple Threat

~TWENTY- EIGHT~

"i- i- i-" I studder and he turns  around and shakes his head slowly. "No. You don't. Not in that way." He speaks calmly and tears stream down my face as I hear the words flow out of his mouth.

"I have to go now. I'll see you sometime." His voice cracks a bit and he continues towards the door and I watch as he leaves permanently.

My heart beats faster as i finally realize that I might have lost him for good. A guy who was there for me when I needed them most. And I might never be able to share what we had ever again with him.

I take a seat on the couch and drop my head in my hands as I hear his car start and back out of the driveway. Tears flood my ees and I try my hardest to stay strong anf not break down. Because lord knows I do enough of that already... Back then and now.

I take a breath and feel the blood pumping hot through my veins and i start to feel hot. I stand up, walk to the kitchen, and open up the bottom can that usually if filled with pots and pans.

I reach behind them in the back and grab ahold of a heavy bottle. I set it on the table and just stand there staring, reading the label over and over again, just contemplating whether I should or not.

Bacardi 151. I open the bottle and soon the strong smell burns my nose. 75.5% straight liquor and rum... This will fuck me up... In many ways.

I pour the liquor in the glass over ice and watched as I filled the cup. There are two things but mom let me know before I left in the real world. Don't get roofied and don't drink Bacardi 151 straight.

Sorry Mom....

I tip my glass upward slightly, the strong aroma filling my senses and burning my nose. I feel the now cold liquid touch my lips and i am eager to chug it down. But I don't.

Something tells me that what I'm doing I overstepping my boundaries. Crossing a line that i am in no condition to cross. I think for a moment and stare at the brownish colored liquid before me and I feel my mouth water.

Then I grip the glass firmly and close my eyes. I bring the glass back up to my lips and before it goes past my lips, I hear Grayson calling me from upstairs.

Thank you.

I wipe my tears and clean up real quick and walk upstairs and into the bedrook where he lay restless. I walk over to his side of the bed and sit down next to him.

"You alright?" I ask and he doesn't say anything. He just stares at me and then flickers his eyes to the ceiling. "You're in love with Ethan?" He asks suddenly and I swallow hard and think.

"I don't." I say without thinking and his eyes make contact with mine again. "I heard you, downstairs, I could hear it in your voice." He says and it reminds me of what Ethan said about me and gray.

"I guess a part of me still had feelings for him... And It always will." I confess in a whisper and he grabs my hand and my body shivers from the touch.

"I'm sorry." He says and i shake my head. "Gray st-" "no, I'm not. I'm not gonna stop apologizing. And i know sorry isn't going to cut it but i want you to know how sorry i am everyday for what I've put you through throughout the years. I am sorry. I'm sorry for coming into your life. I'm sorry for playing games with you. I'm sorry for you getting raped, I'm sorry I fucked your friends, im sorry I had anger issues, and I'm sorry i got you pregnant and then dipped. I'm sorry for fucking maggie and having a son and I'm sorry I didn't tell you about her in general. I'm sorry about everything I fucking put you through Misa." He speaks in a sad and heart full tone and I start to cry.

"But I am not sorry i fell in love with you. I am not sorry I asked you to marry me and i sure as hell am not sorry that I keep reminding you of how much I love you." He starts to sob and I grip his hand with my other one and he sits up.