Just Friends

Chapter 8 Obsession (from Didi's POV)

Warning: adult content

I remeber it clearly. I grabbed her hand. I really can't think of the logical explanation why I did it, but I know it was a mistake. I knew it right away. I saw the real fear in her eyes, momentarily followed by tears. Almost immediately I loosened my grip, but didn't let go entirely. I didn't want this conversation to end yet. Holding her gently, I asked.

'Can you not walk away like this?'

'Let go!' She jerked her hand strongly enough to set it free. I spotted pure anger mixed with hurt as I caught the last glimpse of her face, just before she turned around and ran away.

In that moment as I watched her in the distant, I thought about her tossing and turning in bed after the Inauguration party and realized how stupid of me was to grab her like that. She must have endured plenty of similar assaults, to the point they had become her nightmares. And instead of making her understand that seeing her naked was just an accident and I'm not the bad guy here, I'd just confirmed that I am, by no means diffrent from the boy she had been used to.

After that, not much I could do to make her forgive me, because for precisely 5 days she didn't say a word to me, besides the script lines, didn't look at me outside of rehearsals, didn't even breathe in my direction. I was an outcast, exiled from her attention.

Due to that I became miserable and my obsession with her started to form. As a survival mechanism I became numb to her as an individual. My body and mind started focusing on her body only, not caring about the rest. This way my organism was fighting the disease called love, making me a predator and her a prey. Even though it lasted less than a week and I'd shortly rediscovered her as a person, our relationship was forever marked by my uncontainable predatory need for her, from that period. Thinking about it, from where I stand right now, it's possible that her rejecting me so strongly and so unfairly at the very beginning, was a part of the reason why my feelings for her were that unhealthy, that feverish, always demending, consuming me wholly. And why I got myself trapped in a circle of objectifing her, when she was always way more than just an object of my desire.

***

'What is wrong with you and Shen Yue?' Kang asked me during our late dinner time.

The four of us were sitting together without the girls, who were still rehearsing.

'You guys never talk.' He concluded.

'I told her about what I saw from the patio and she got pissed, and now I'm banished forever.' I replied bitterly.

I was already annoyed with myself, with her and with her unreasonable behavior. I guess it was the price I had to pay as a human for seeing something divine. But still, it was eating me alive.

'What did you saw?' Hong asked, not knowing he could easily get punched for that.

'Why did you tell her? You didn't even do it purposely.' As usual Kang showed his machiavel side.

'I told her, 'cause I value honesty, man.' Kang definitely didn't know the basics of working society or at least working relationships.

'What did you see?' Hong pushed.

'Nothing that concerns you.' He must have heard the amount of anger I put in that sentence, because his pupils dilated from fear, I hoped.

'He saw Shen Yue naked.' I was really trying hard to like Kang, but he was just making it impossible.

'Kang!' Both, Xize Wu and I, called him out.

'What? He wanted to know.' He looked sincerely confused.