Just Friends

Chapter 9 Gathering (from Yue Yue's POV)

After we had parted at my room's door, the night ahead of me was rough. I couldn't sleep. I was analyzing the whole situation with Wang He Di. He seemed quite interested in me and caring for my forgiveness. It was not that I hadn't seen him trying to restore our friendship or almost friendship, but at the same time he acted cocky towards me, which sucked. And him grabbing and holding my hand was too overbearing for my taste. I knew I had overreacted a little, because of my terrible past experience, but still he shouldn't have done it. I wasn't able to determine if he was as honest person as he claimed he was. At 3 AM I finally got some sleep after letting myself go into the fantasy I had been defying so strongly. The fantasy of him putting his warm arms around me and embracing me fully. A familiar sense of safety I was longing for came down on me and made it easy to fall asleep.

In the morning I stayed in bed for a bit longer than usual. The first thing I did was to go full on crazy with my thoughts. I caught myself wondering, even though I told Wang He Di it didn't matter, if he had liked what he saw from the patio. He had already attempted at telling me, but I had cut him off for obvious reasons. And now I wished I hadn't.

That had been the first time someone had seen me naked, outside my family. And that someone was a boy, a hadsome boy. It played tricks on my mind. Hu Yitian had wanted what Wang He Di had gotten by accident, for so long and never had had a chance to see me this way. It was strange to realize that.

Did Didi like me naked? Did he find me attractive? Did he want me? Should I even think about it? Do I want him to want me this way? As I said, full on crazy.

Slowly as I was waking up properly, those disturbing thoughts were fading and I was becoming desperate to hide them in the deepest parts of my brain and never let them hunt me again. I chose to hold on to my anger or what's left of it for just a little longer. However I already knew that Didi was not a bad guy here. I felt it. I believed him.

***

Today was our last day of rehearsing. Tomorrow we were going to start shooting. I was as excited as I was scared. Wang He Di and I weren't still on good terms and I wanted to make it right as soon as possible to start shooting fresh, new and free from any drama.

Lin and Angie wanted us to rehearse the zoo scene (ep. 15) next, since it was the one we were starting the filming with. That was a short scene, not much of dialogue, but it involved holding hands, so I was already panicking inside.

During 5 last days Didi and I had done many demanding scenes together, throughout which I'd tried to stay professional, against all odds. It had costed me a lot to maintain my composure in those moments of closeness. The forced intimacy between us had been both angering me and filling me inside with overwhelming warmth. I had been conflicted while it had lasted. Two strong emotions couldn't have balanced in me. My entire body had craved for him, wanted him as near as possible, but my mind had been pushing him away, cutting him off.

I was hoping that if I resolved the issue I had with him, this conflict would disappear, the need for him would diminish and we would be able to have some sort of casual work relationship.

'Let's start with this. ' Lin pointed the line on my version of the script and retreated to his seat.

Wang He Di approached me and asked.

'Where?'

'Here.' I pointed the line.

'Ok, go!' Lin ordered and I started.

'I'll help him carry the stuffed toy.' I lifted my hand toward Didi's neck, pretending there's a toy.

'No need' he grabbed my palm in his, pulled down and held it. His eyes gentle, even loving, were fixed on mine.