Mine? Yours.

Chapter 2

I wasn't aware that our last goodbye was indeed my last goodbye with her. People rarely know when their „last" is, otherwise they might act differently. So would I, If I knew Rory was saying goodbye to whatever kind of relationship we have had, I would still be laying in that bed with her, and quite frankly, right now, I currently cannot imagine a better way to spend my time.

I never understood. I did everything. I went to her mother, I rented a beautiful apartment for us, I have done all of my newspaper job research for her and still, she didn't want it. She didn't want me. It took me months, if not years to wrap my head around the fact that the only person I was completely sure of wasn't sure about me. I was thankful for Collin and Finn, they didn't ask many questions and scotch didn't ask any at all. Completely ignoring my heartache, I focused on work. I was always good at what I did, but adding complete dedication to my work made me remarkably more focused and successful.

Often, I would go out with women my mother would suggest me, sometimes they were decent, even entertaining, like Odette for instance. She was an intelligent and well-mannered lady. My family was all up for it, they organized gatherings, dinners, celebrations. They have organized an engagement party without even asking me if I wanted it or not, they pretty much organized everything, and lifeless as I have become, I went along with it. I will always have my work, I will always be able to dig my head into paperwork, spend my nights in front of my laptop and this would work out.

I tried not to think about where she was or how she was doing. Rory was and will always be the most important person in my life even if she wasn't in my life. If I am fully honest, having any kind of relationship with Rory was better than what we had right now. I loved the feeling of her skin under my hand in the morning, I loved the smell of her all around my room, the tickling feeling of her hair against my neck. I wouldn't trade my mornings with her for anything. The moments before she would wake up and start calculating how much time she had left with me were my favorite. When she was peacefully asleep in my bed when I was looking at her, stroking her hair down, taking in every inch of her perfect body. I wouldn't trade that for anything.

But she didn't want me, she made it clear to me, she never answered my calls after that night in New Hampshire, she pushed me away and it felt familiar. The feeling of betrayal and fear felt the same. Only this time I wasn't allowed to feel sad, I wasn't allowed to tell anyone and let them know how desperately I wanted to speak to her and let her know how unfair this has been. I was engaged to someone else and what we had wasn't exclusive, I wasn't allowed to wish for her openly.

My trip to Hartford was supposed to be very brief, my father wasn't feeling well, so he needed me to take care of some of his work, which I gladly did since I owe everything to him. Mother bothered me with the usual wedding stuff, unimportant color of the flowers, music... worst of all... guest lists. Of course, I wasn't interested in any of that, and what I was mostly not interested in was the „Yale Alumni Annual Dance", but as usual, it was a duty of mine and some strange, stupid part of me hoped I would meet her there. My driver delivered my suit, it was a dark navy slim fit suit, I have showered and shaved, put some perfume on, took my wallet and my phone and was out the door.

Finn and Collin were supposed to meet me there, the plan was to stay for 15 minutes then leave for some drinks. Yale has outdone themselves with the decorations this year, well, with all of the money my family has given over the years, I wasn't expecting anything less. The guys and I had a drink and on my way out the door I ran into Marty, he was still looking a bit feminine, not that that's a bad thing, I laughed a little and asked him the boring, lame questions. I must admit, I didn't listen to him that carefully until I heard her name being mentioned. I immediately asked him if Rory was really in there, he was slightly confused, of course, he had no clue we kept in touch. I took a look at Finn and he just nodded, he was a good friend, he rarely asked questions, but he always knew where I stood, especially where I stood with her.

I turned around to take another good look, trying to spot the only person I wanted to see. And there she was, at a table with the people from the Daily News, she looked like she was packing up her things, it was either now or I let her leave on me again. She looked so beautiful, her hair shined and she had a special glow on her face. Gosh, so beautiful, she took my breath away each time. I approached her and when she looked at me with her pair of most breathtaking blue eyes I froze, completely lost for words. I called for her by her nickname and she just looked at me. Started packing up quicker and standing up, running away towards who I supposed was Paris. She looked like someone was chasing her with a knife. It hurt seeing her run away from me like that, we always used to talk about everything, this was heartbreaking to watch.

I watched her grab Paris by her hand and pulling her outside very quickly, I followed them outside. „Rory!" I yelled out on the parking lot, she turned around, still walking towards her car, Paris pulling her behind her in a protective way. „Rory, seriously, let us talk!" I said stopping at my tracks. „Just leave her alone Huntzberger, don't act stupid, she doesn't want to talk to you!" Paris yelled back at me as if she was Rory's lawyer, well she was, but off the point. „I believe she can speak for herself Paris." I said, of course, that made her step forward, my girl didn't like to be challenged. „I think Paris covered it pretty well." She said turning around. „Ace, please." I pleaded, I swear I only acted this way when it comes to her, I swear. But, she didn't turn back to me, she made her way back into her car with Paris next to her. What did I do? Did she find someone new? Someone who she cared about more than me? Can this be it? The end to our story?

After watching her drive off, I walked back inside to find Collin and Finn, they waited for me and after seeing my face they knew, one bottle of scotch won't do it for tonight. They stood up and Finn drove us to a bar. I didn't say a word the whole night, I knew I wasn't supposed to be this devastated, I couldn't say or complain about anything because like she said, we were nothing. Except, we were everything. She was everything and I was left with nothing.

It was a cold night, a clear, cold night and I drank a whole bottle of scotch by myself trying to forget her name but the only name I forgot was mine, and drunk or sober, she was the only thing on my mind. I loved her, that was the only thing I was always sure of and I miss her, instead of less, every day more.