Mine? Yours.

Chapter 6

If I had to look at only one more tie I will punch someone right into their face. I know, I should have picked a suit months ago, but I certainly wasn't in the mood for trying on outfits the past couple of weeks. Odette was awfully distant and quiet with me, I mean, it is understandable, but still incredibly annoying. The wedding was coming together thanks to my mother who has given all of her time to make this the perfect wedding she has always wanted her son to have. She probably has put the royal wedding to shame with her flower arrangements.

During the day I was able to hide everything that was bothering me. The nights were the hardest part. After putting my laptop away and setting an alarm for the next day. Being alone with my thoughts was the worst part of all, because, each time I let my thoughts wander they would wind up with her. A part of me will always be ashamed of how easy she could have me, at all times. I was a well respected man, hardworking and fair, I was a strong man, always, except when it came to Rory. She was always and will always be my weak point.

It was finally my favorite part of that whole circus show, the night of my bachelor party. Odette was getting ready for her night out with her friends, they were organising some big gathering, I acted shocked when she mentioned some strippers being involved. I honestly didn't care one bit of how her night was going to be like, all I really wanted was to have an unforgettable night with my friends and finally get that damn night out of my head.

The guys waited for me outside of my apartment in the car, Finn drove us to the airport and as my best man, he already had scotch ready on the airplane, ready to get us started on what our night would look like. Finn and Collin have tried their best to get my mind off of everything, we joked around and as soon as we landed we headed to our hotel to leave our stuff and head back to one of our favourite bars in the area.

As the night went on I have noticed some of my friends already having girls on their laps, playing with their hair and paying for another bottle of champagne. I was sitting with Finn at one table and drinking his scotch he told me „Call her." I looked confused at him. „Odette is probably with her-" he quickly cut me off. „Not her. Your her. Call her." I looked down, ashamed of the fact that it was very obvious to Finn why I wasn't myself lately. I looked away, took a deep breath and put my brave face on. „You know I can't do that." I let out a chuckle filled with sadness and agony. He shook his head, took a sip of his drink „Stop trying to fool yourself, you're not that stupid." He laughed a bit, and in a quick movement, he was already at the bar talking to a blonde, tall girl.

Couldn't I just put this fucking topic off for one singe night? Was I really so fucking obsessed with the same person for all of these years? I had everything most people could ever wished for, everything I would ever need to be happy and none of that fucking bullshit even mattered one bit if she wasn't there.

A couple of drinks later I walked out to get some fresh air, it was raining and freezing outside, it made me think of that beautiful Christmas Rory and I spent in London, she made that cold, minimalistic apartment feel like home, she filled it with warmth and I have never had a Christmas quite as beautiful as that one I have spent with her. After we broke up and I moved back into that apartment I had to cover the fireplace we sat next to and cuddled up, because I simply couldn't look at it for long. The first two weeks were easy after she turned down my proposal. I barely remember anything from that time, it was all a blur, one thing I could have said for sure was that life never seemed quite as devastating as then.

We drank a lot, girls were dancing all around us and Collin almost bought the place. I tried really hard to look happy and uplifted, my friends, especially Finn tried their very best to make this a night, none of us would remember, if you know what I mean. The only thing that sadness and happiness have in common is that they push everything else aside, nothing matters but them, nothing matters than to keep your happiness or to get rid of the sadness. They are the focal point of your day. I was sad and crushed, of course, one can assume that after all of these years it would be easier to forget about Rory, but you haven't met Rory the way that I met Rory. She made everything feel like home. She was home to me.