Mine? Yours.

Chapter 7

I woke up in the ocean of clean white bedsheets. It was so quiet and peaceful you would never guess you're in the jungle of Las Vegas. Logan's body was laying next to mine, he was cold, in rare moments like these Logan didn't look so masculine and strong, he looked restful and without a worry in the world. His hair was a mess, I guess that was my fault.

I didn't know how last night was going to end up, but If you asked me that yesterday, the reality would be the last one on the list of possible endings. Sleeping with Logan, sharing intimacy with him was the most soul awakening, fear crushing experience I have ever had. Our bodies knew how to be with each other, we didn't. Our bodies knew what they wanted, how they wanted it and they listened, we didn't. Logan turned around and I noticed his phone vibrate on the bedside table, I swear I wasn't looking, but her gorgeous face was all over the goddamn screen. She was a beautiful brunette with a bright Hollywood smile. Another woman, was waiting for him, patiently, in their home. I felt nauseous, but not because of my little baby, I felt sick of myself. Did another woman deserve this? To feel this way?

I jumped up at the realisation that Logan, my Logan would be awake in a couple of minutes and will be heading home, to his fiancé, to marry her... TO MARRY HER. Panic rushed all over my body and I started grabbing all of my things from the floor, I had quite the layers going on last night. Two buttons of my vest were missing, I can thank Logan for that. I was in my pants and bra when I felt two warm hands warp around me from behind, I quickly turned around to see a half naked Logan standing in front of me. I didn't even notice him from all of the panic.

„Ace, let me get some food into your system, you must be starving." He gave me his most loving look he possibly could, moving a strand of my hair behind my head. I looked down, on the edge of another meltdown and I shook my head. I was sad that this moment with him had an expiration date, that we couldn't share this forever, this idyllic, almost utopian life. He asked me what was wrong. The worst part of all of it is that none of it felt wrong. Nothing with Logan could ever feel wrong, we knew it was wrong, every social rule told us it was wrong, but being with him, how could a love like this ever be wrong?

He brushed his hand against my cheek, his hand was so warm compared to his body in the morning, he pulled me closer to him and I had to pull away, someone had to be the voice of reason. „Logan, what's the point? Of all of this? You would never leave her!" I yelled out, pointing at his phone, which, ironically enough showed her as the caller ID, calling him once again. „Just say the word Ace." He stated. „What good would that do?" I asked, confused. „All I ever wanted from you was to say it, to say that you're mine and that you wanna be mine, but all you ever do is run away from me!" His voice got angrier. „I am not your toy Rory!" He said, stepping away from me. This hurt, this hurt me bad, not because of his tone but because of how right he was. I never chose him, over anything, and now, I wasn't choosing the best for my baby, I was choosing what was the most comfortable for me.

Being raised by a single parent was the only way I knew how, having to share a baby with Logan, having the thought of him participating on this journey scared me. I knew nothing about mutual decisions, living with someone, taking care of another. I knew nothing about anything that was good for my baby and that was frightening. All of it rushed through my body and I felt my hand shaking as it reached to my face. „Logan, I'm pregnant." I cried out and waited for a reaction. He froze, not a single word left his mouth and I was just about to check if he was breathing as he asked „Is it mine?" After I nodded he walked up to me, placed his hands on my belly and got down on his knees, placing his forehead on my stomach. For the first time, ever, I felt Logans tears on my belly, he held me on the side and eventually hugged me, I placed my hands on his head. I have never felt such intimacy with anyone, he was so fragile. Behind all of his toughness and strong facade, he was a warm person, with all of the emotions.

„My baby" He whispered. After a minute of silence between us he stood up with the most genuine and honest smile I have ever seen. He looked like the boy I have met in Yale. He was happy, I could feel that. „How far are you?" He asked „15 weeks." I answered, now holding my growing stomach myself. He started pacing around the room, running his hands through his hair, excited as ever. „I need to move, I will put you as my right hand in the firm, we will run HPG together, we will buy a family house, I will get a puppy, I have to get a family jeep, I'm calling my dealer, I need that jeep." He was speaking so fast, grabbing his phone.

„Logan, no." I said quietly at first, repeating it again louder as he didn't listen to me. „Logan, I'm raising it on my own." I stated, completely sure in myself, he was confused. „What do you mean? I'm right here Rory." He said, almost pleaded. „Please don't do this to me." He begged, walking up to me, taking my hands. „Logan, you cannot leave Odette for me." I tried explaining my points to him, but he didn't seem to listen to me. „Ace, who cares about anything else, we're having a baby." His enthusiastic and optimistic voice got me irritated. „You have a life, besides me!" I said, stepping back. „Up until now, you were going to marry that woman and not once did you consider me and how I would feel about that!" I continued, devastated by my own words. „And now, suddenly, conveniently as I'm carrying your child, you want a family with me?" I looked at him offended and bitter. „I wanted a family with you 15 years ago Rory!" He yelled out, frustrated and mad.

If he wanted this life with me, he could have fought for me. Nobody can force anyone to marry someone he doesn't care for, he always had the option to go for me, but he never did. Not until now, now he is suddenly wanting me? I was angry, angry because I felt played, tricked and fooled, but most of all, angry because a part of me could never hate him, and that was the worst thing of all.

He was speechless, he looked around the room, searching for things to argue with. I whipped my tears away from my cheek and put my blouse on me, turning around to leave this room that was so peaceful and calm an hour ago. He grabbed my hand and tried stopping me from leaving, but I pulled my hand away. „Rory please stay, let us talk about this." He begged me. „Congratulations to the groom and best wishes to the bride." I said enraged, I rushed outside and slammed the door behind me. I could hear his voice call after me, but I started to run outside. The air here was choking me and I knew I needed to run outside.

I walked outside and grabbed the first cab I could see, he drove me straight to the airport, where I luckily had the chance to change my flight. One message from Logan followed the other one and it was slightly frustrating to see this.

The annoying couples from movies that were perfect for each other but for some stupid reason weren't together were always so stupid and here I am, being the most stupid of all. I felt so many emotions at once, all of it gave me a headache. I was intrigued as I saw an unknown British number calling me. I picked it up and heard a female voice, with a strong accent.

"Am I speaking to Rory Gilmore?"