Mine? Yours.

Chapter 3

I had to stop the car, I parked somewhere next to the road and sat back, took a deep breath and covered my face with my hands, trying desperately not to burst into tears. I have never seen Paris this confused and concerned. „You know this isn't right." She said, after what seemed like hours of silence, she looked at me almost disappointed. „He deserves to know." I couldn't speak, I felt like I will choke right there, I looked out of the window, it was dark and you could see the stars, we were outside of the city so that was no wonder. I had to calm myself down. „I bet the baby will have blonde hair." That was the only thing I could manage to spill out. Paris smiled at me, she knew what it was like to expect a child, two actually.

„Rory, listen to me." Paris turned to me, I looked at her, whipping that one tear away from my cheek. „You know I have your back, whatever you do, I will always be there for you." She said, her voice was never so warm. „But I cannot let you act like a complete crackhead." Her voice became more firm, almost scary I would say. She got angrier at me. „Even if Logan were to be the head of the Gestapo, you cannot simply take this away from him and do this on your own!" She said, her voice getting louder. „Dammit Rory, you'd have to be blind to think that he doesn't love you." She said I couldn't listen to that, that topic was more than painful to me. My body started to shake and I started the car engine. „Let me handle this, this is MY life." I stated, quite angrily. This was MY life we were talking about, my body, my baby, my time and my choice. Taking this away from Logan wasn't going to be easy but it is going to be something that will be the best for the both of us, there were so many things that needed to be considered, he already had a life, a family, a partner, who am I to jump into his plans and screw everything up for him. For that what it's worth, I loved him way too much to do that.

I drove Paris back to her home, she asked me if I wanted to sleep over at her place for the night, but I needed to be alone tonight. There was so much on my mind that I needed to think through. I lived in the house of my grandparents now, grandma has decided not to sell it, but rather to leave it to me to use, she found a new housekeeper who went shopping and kept the house clean. I poured myself a glass of wine and went to my favorite room in the house, grandpas office. The whole room smelled like books, I loved being there, and writing my book here meant so much to me, everything inside reminded me of him, I would hate for it to be someone else's. But not even the warm feeling and reminder of grandpas hugs could keep me away from thinking about the awful night I had with Logan. He looked crushed and he didn't even know the whole story. Paris words hit me hard, she was right, he did love me, he did follow me outside, not because I was pregnant, but because he wanted to talk to ME. I would lie If I told you that I never pictured the two of us having the happy ending we deserved, of course, I did. The adventures we had, the passion we shared, it was something you probably experience once in life, if you are lucky at all.

Logan was the one person I could trust fully. He never judged or questioned any of my decisions, if anything, he made me a better person and always let me do my own choices, and I should do the same. I should let him be able to choose when to be a father and not push that onto him. He will be happier this way, right?

The next morning my doorbell rang pretty early, I walked to the door to see Jess standing there with a cup of coffee and donuts. „I come bearing gifts." He smiled and walked inside. „You know, it's less scary when it doesn't smell like Chanel No. 5!" He said with a small laugh, it was very true, it all seemed less stiff this way. I did miss her, but Jess did feel better with her not at the dinner table, judging him. „It was... eventful." I said with a little fake smile, he didn't buy it of course. I think he was even able to guess what went wrong. We sat in the living room and drank the coffee, he did the best he could to keep my mind away from all of this. Jess was an amazing friend to me, he was carring and I never had to question his loyalty to me. When Jess Mariano is in your life, he is in your life for good.

He saw how distracted I am, I was usually more chatty around him, he sat next to me and placed his hand on my knee. „It's okay Jess." I said, I know he didn't ask but I know that he wanted to. All of this just messed with my head, my life had a way of complicating itself lately. As simple as I wanted it, it never turned out that way. Jess moved a piece of my hair behind my ear and tried his best to give me a comforting smile.

I leaned my head against his shoulder and we stayed in silence, he being there for me and me being somewhere completely different in my thoughts. I didn't check my phone all night, but I noticed it at that moment light up. I stood up and walked over to it. 7 missed calls and 8 messages from an unknown number. I opened the messages.

Let us meet Ace, please, we cannot leave things like this, this isn't fair to anyone.

Can you meet me tonight? I will come wherever you tell me to.

Ace, just answer my calls, I just wannna talk to you.

Why wonft u talk 2 me?

Cmmon Ace, I ned 2 talk 2 o

Flin sayz he talkts 2u, y wont u tlk 2mee??1!

Lkgr htrc mkloou67 jh54ed

Ace.

I scrolled confused down and the last messages honestly worried me, not that I never received drunk messages from Logan, but this was a very tricky situation. The feeling of guilt rushed over me and I felt horrible. I felt Jesses presence behind me and I instantly turned around.

„You saw him yesterday, haven't you?" His look was almost crushed and his voice seemed angry. „Yes." I simply replied to him, unsure where this is headed. „How many times?" He asked, I frowned, completely confused at this point. „How many times does he have to do this to you, Rory?" He raised his voice a little, stepping back from me, I followed him.

His voice became even louder, his gestures were nervous, he ran his fingers through his hair. „He has done EVERYTHING in his power to show you that he doesn't care, everything he possibly could and you're still here. Having a bad day because of him! How much does it take for you to finally understand that he doesn't care and he isn't the type that ever will?" His words hit me like a brick. I cannot believe the words that were coming out of his mouth. How can he say something like that? I lost it just then. „He is the fucking father of my child Jess!!" I yelled at him, I don't think I have ever yelled at him this way. „He will never be there for the child! He doesn't stay! He will never stay!" He hit the wall, hard, but showed no emotions, he didn't feel a thing. I was so frustrated with him right now, either he was talking shit or I really wasn't aware of anything around me. „I will be left on my own again!" I almost screamed out and felt heavy tears stroll down my cheeks.

He started breathing heavy, stepping towards me, making me lean against the wall. He was so close I could feel his breath against my lips. „I would never leave you alone Rory." I could feel his voice getting apologetic, softer. He looked me straight into my eyes and I took a deep breath, looking away as a reflex. He stepped away from me and took a good look at me. „Except, you never wanted to be alone with me." He said, his voice sad, he looked as if he has discovered something revolutionary for him. In an instant, he turned around, grabbed his leather jacket and made his way outside. I watched the doors slam and couldn't believe my eyes. The only person that always had my back, left me. How could I ever let this happen?