Mine? Yours.

Chapter 12

As soon as I walked inside of the house I saw Jess pacing back and forth. Once he saw me he stopped at his track and looked at me, expecting some detailed report of what has happened. I couldn't explain myself to him, I couldn't explain this situation to anyone, no one would understand. I truly don't didn't understand the connection between Logan and me, myself, I don't think there is anything he could do, for me to not love him.

We have hurt each other so many times, out of jealousy, out of anger, but never because we didn't love each other. All of the things that have happened always seem to disappear when I'm with him, he could easily get me to agree on anything. But this was all way more complex and way more complicated that what it seemed. There is one more life at risk if this goes bad. I had to stop thinking just for myself and start thinking what was the best for my baby. I couldn't risk having someone start a relationship with him and then leave, not at my watch.

„Nothing happened, I will talk to him more tomorrow." I said, way too tired to discuss this with him, I just wanted to get a bath and get into my bed, write a little bit. But, of course he wouldn't let this go. „You're meeting him again tomorrow? I though you two were through?" He sounded mad, of course he would be mad. Anyone just trying to catch up with me and Logan would most certainly get dizzy right away. And after this beautiful day that we had today, Jess and I, one part of me really did wish things were through, just so I could have a peaceful night and have things simple.

„We're having a baby, I cannot push him away from me just like that!" My angry response made him look away, I couldn't quite read his face, it almost looked disgusted, which of course, by nature, made me pissed. „I thought we were going somewhere Rory..." I crossed my arms „Yes, I'm going to bed!" I said and turned around, making my way to my bathroom to take a long deserving bath.

After an hour spent in the bathtub I came back into the living room to see Jess sleeping on the couch. I covered him with a blanket and went to my room. Before laying down to sleep I checked my phone and saw a message from Logan.

„Thank you for hearing me out Ace, I can't wait to see you tomorrow. Everything is going to be okay. - L"

I smiled seeing his message, hearing „everything is going to be okay." From him, made me almost believe it will. However, there were still so many things on my mind that I couldn't shake off. Why did he leave his own wedding? He had so many opportunities and chances to do so but he chose to do that last minute? He had all of this time to chose me, but he didn't. Logan wanted a conformation that I wanted him, which I understand since I turned his proposal down, but that was years ago. It wasn't my place to just tell him to love me instead of her.

I also understand that I may seem like a home wrecker, like someone who has a thing for people who are already taken, and in the past I might blame that on curiosity and a drive for the forbidden, but it was different now. I wanted Logan to be happy and If I felt for one second that he was happy with Odette, I would have left and he would never hear from me again. But we were crazy about each other, being with him made everything... okay.

I knew that Jess had to work the next morning, so I wasn't surprised when I didn't see him on the couch when I came downstairs. I made myself fresh unfortunately decaf coffee and started on another chapter of the book. I wanted everything to feel real and objective, which it did up until the moment when my main character, meets him. And I'm not talking about when they meet at the coffee cart, I'm talking about their meeting in front of the dorm room that she shared with her friend „Oslo".

I wrote about the way he challenged her mind, the way he didn't have a single problem keeping up with her. The way he saw her as black, strong coffee in a world full of cheap wine that only gives you headache. Nothing ever felt this easy to write, the memories we are most fond of flow right out. I wrote how nobody got her this frustrated, but longing for more the same time. I wrote how his eyes and that smile kept her awake for days after and how she hoped for nothing more than to accidentally see him tomorrow, even if it was next to the coffee cart.