She began to fear every sound since she had met him. With every step she looked over her shoulder. Fear of him kept her wary. Trying to run from the nightmare he put her through was all that mattered, but the pain of being away from half of your sou...
I feel like I'm on a ship and there's a terrible storm raging on. I can tell I'm in someone's bed and I know that logically I should be still. Somehow, I just feel like I'm swaying harshly. The imagined motion is only serving to worsen my nausea and migraine. Furthermore, it feels like my eyes have been cemented shut. Overall, I feel like shit. I crack my eyes just a bit. I regret that quickly as light immediately decides to make my migraine more splitting. Everything hurts. What happened? After laying still for a little while longer managed open my eyes and sit up. Looking around the room I realize with horror where I am. All around me are dark blue walls. I sit all black comforter. Then I remember the needle going into my arm. He drugged me. I dart up out of the bed I was once trapped under and run from the room. I struggle to stay on my feet as the world is still moving around me. Opening the door I find a hallway stretching in two directions. I decided to go right turning a corner I see a woman outside a door. Relief fills my chest and I slow my footsteps as I reach her. "Oh my God", I slur "please can you help me". As she turns to me, I finally notice her age, she must be in her eighties. Her hair has turned gray and wrinkles frame her brown eyes. She has a kind and worn face. Her arms are completely covered in tattoos. On her neck is a rosary. She looks familiar somehow, even though I've never met this woman. "sorry hindi ko maintindihan", she looks at me confused. Disappointment crashes into me as I realize she doesn't speak English. She doesn't understand me so she can't tell me where the phone is so I can call the cops. I almost cry at the realization. I hear his voice call me from down the hall. Just as I turn to the sound, he rounds the corner. I turn to run from him. I only manage two steps before his arms are around me. I can't tell if he's just fast or if I'm still slow from the drugs. I kick back at him, but he picks me up bridal style effectively restraining my arms and legs. I cringe remembering the last time I was in this position. Even in my confusion I don't know how I could have acted like that. Even though I hadn't recognized who he was, and my inhibitions may have been lowered I still can't understand how I could act like that. I've never behaved like that before. Even as a child I was never that affectionate. I was all over him though. I wonder if the way I acted had anything to do with the dreams I've been having. The unconscious idea of kissing those scars had manifested into reality. I hate it. I hate him. I hate myself. Having dealt with me he turns to the old lady and says, "Lola ay hindi ka dapat matulog sa labas ng iyong walker". He looks concerned. "Nakita mo ba ang tatay ko?", she says. He sighs, "hayaan kang bumalik ka sa kama". He readjusts me to put one of his hands on her back and lead her back into the room we were in front of. He sits her on a bed in the corner of the room. The entire time I remain still to avoid hurting the lady. "Magpapadala ako ng nars", he says and kisses her forehead, "Mahal kita". She smiles at him as we leave the room. The second he closes the door behind him I start thrashing in his arms. I know I probably won't escape and all the jostling is making me nauseous. However, at this point I just want to hurt him. All he's ever done is hurt me. The calm focused look he had when he was dealing with the old lady drops as he becomes frustrated and annoyed with me. "Please calm down", he says. He sounds so drained. I can tell he's tired and something's weighing on him. I can't find it in myself to care though, he's never cared about me. I continue to struggle against him even as he successfully restrains me. I'm so angry I don't even care what he does at this point. He sighs and starts walking back into the direction I came from. What if he puts me back under that mattress? I start hyperventilating at the thought. I can feel tears running down my face, but I don't care. I feel so helpless. My tossing in his arms grows weaker. He's looking down at me with a sad look on his face. It only makes me feel that much worse. Flashes of the past take over my mind. I see the dark. I feel the hunger. Oh God, the smell. I'll never forget that terrible smell. I remember the water hitting my back and how his eyes turned black. I remember him beating me. And then the sirens. I can still hear his voice apologizing to me as I drifted through consciousness. He wasn't sorry though and he's going to do it to me again. I wish I had died when he wrapped his hands around my throat. At least then I wouldn't have to go through this hell. I can't even scream for help. He's turned my existence into an awful curse. We're right outside the room. He reaches for the doorknob and pulls open the door. Stepping inside I feel my heart sink to my stomach. He walks to the bed. I give up my fight and just cry as I wait for him to lift the mattress.
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