All the Things Between Us

Chapter 36

  I've been feeling a bit shaken since my earlier conversation with Breuer. I've just been standing in the kitchen allowing my coffee to get cold. I run my finger around the rim of the mug and feel the steam starting to wane. I know he's not trustworthy however, maybe I should consider his proposal. Apex and I may have grown closer but, we aren't there yet. A kiss and cuddle are a world away from sleeping with the guy.
  I hear the thudding of footsteps coming towards the kitchen and in walks Eros and Mrs. Panganiban.
  "Hello Dianna", shouts Eros in his usual cheery manner. He goes to sit at the table and Mrs. Panganiban goes to the cupboard. She starts to pull strange items from the shelves and sets them on the countertop. I go to her and guide her away from her task towards the table.
  She's always trying to cook even though it's dangerous for her. Apex told me of her condition not long ago. She has dementia. She received her diagnosis five years ago and it progressed quickly from there. He's been trying to care for her in order to keep her from dying in some home.
  "What would you two like for lunch?", I ask Eros.
  "Spaghetti", he answers gleefully. I smile at him and nod before pulling out the ingredients and putting away what Mrs. Panganiban had pulled out. I fill a pan with water from the sink and put it on the stove. Behind me, Eros chatters to his grandmother in Tagalog. I don't understand any of what they're saying but, the language sounds beautiful, maybe I'll learn it someday. I hum as I listen to the two of them and try to put Breuer out of mind.
  The pasta doesn't take long and soon I'm dishing it up. I set two plates full of it on the table and go to make two more to go eat with Apex in his office with him.
  Eros sees me about to walk out of the kitchen and shouts, "can you pretty please eat with us today". I turn to see him giving me the biggest puppy dog eyes I've ever seen. He dramatically pouts his sauce smeared lips. I chuckle at his antics and go sit with them. He does this every few days. I always concede and just bring Apex his food a little later. He smiles brightly when I pick up my fork to start eating with them.
  "Are you and my brother getting married yet?", he asks me this every day. I chuckle at his cuteness.
  "No buddy", I tell him, "not yet". He deflates slightly.
  "When I find my mate I'm going to marry her immediately", he says dreamily, "especially if she's as pretty as you". I smile at him. I really hope that when he finds his mate that she is perfect for him and that he'll be better than his brother was. He's such a sweet kid I hope he gets what he's dreaming of.
  He spends the rest of lunch babbling about how excited he is to find his mate in a mix of English and Tagalog as me and his grandmother smile encouraging at him. Eventually, they finish their food, and Eros puts their dishes in the sink before guiding his grandmother back to her room. I watch the two of them disappear down the hallway.
  I go to wash the dishes and put away leftovers. Once I'm done I reheat Apex's food and head up to his office.
  I knock and he answers in a commanding tone. I open the door with his plate in hand. He's in the process of filling out some paperwork when I step in. He looks up with a stern expression. As soon as his eyes set on me he instantly relaxes and a smile graces his face. He stands up and walks to me in long strides. He takes the plate from my hands in favor of wrapping an arm around me and giving me a kiss.
  "Hello darling", he says. He guides me towards his desk and sits me down across from his seat before sitting down himself.
  "Hey Apex there's something I wanted to talk to you about", I say. He looks up at me from the plate of pasta he'd been devouring.
  I clear my throat before speaking, "my heat is just a few days away and I don't feel ready to be with you yet, I'd like to try and self medicate again". He stares at me blankly but, I see the fork in his hand starting to bend under how tightly he's holding it. I reach out and gently grab his hand. He relaxes a bit at my touch and closes his eyes. He takes deep breaths in and out.
  "No", he says, "I can't risk losing you".
  "There must be some kind of sedative or tranquilizer that could safely knock me out during my heat!", I exclaim. His eyes snap open and he growls loudly.
  "Diana it isn't safe, there isn't anything strong enough to knock you out for it without killing you", he roars at me. I flinch back. He seems to notice my fear and he comes back around the desk and kneeling before me. He places his head in my lap and says nothing for a while.
  "Please don't leave me", he begs. He hugs my legs as he repeats those words over and over again. I run my finger through his hair and say nothing.