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Cyn's Point Of View cont.
I woke up before Erica and hated that I had to leave her, but I had to get some things that she can bathe and sleep in. Plus I went a bit shopping for the baby. I hope she is still there. That would be heartbreaking if if my bed is empty. I hid the cash, so she can't steal anything. She has no leverage to come if it wasnt for the baby. If she recognized me tho, I have to be more careful and distant riding around. So I got everything at one stop, including food.
Last night.....
That was something incredible. Never thought I was about to even have sex at all since I am insecure about my body. Having two dicks isn't nothing to feel secure about or proud of. With all the medication I took as a child, I do not see how i am still fertile. Yes i do have questions about how this child is mine, but i wont neglect her since i did have sex with her. She deserves that much. If the baby isn't, I just don't know. My love her is strong but she can break me.
I tried to escape for everyone's sake, including my own, but here is the one person I tried to love and cherish from a distance. Despite the fact that she is pregnant, I am not what she deserved. Her sleeping in my damn tree house isn't right and it breaks my heart. Why couldn't stay with Jordan? He loves her. He is a sweet dude and will take care of her.
The imaticy between Erica and I has and have been amazing, but was that night our mistake? We don't know how to take care of child, let alone ourselves. My parents...dear God my parents. They will kill me. Well they think I am dead already, or not. My heart just hurts so much right now.
I pull up to the tree house and walk in to see her still sleeping peaceful with a smile on face. For the first time in a while, I smiled. I put the bags down softly and got on one knee in front of hair.
Her hair is everywhere and it is adorable because her hair was usually straight in school and now it is all curly. She still sucks her thumb in her sleep too. I wiped my tears that were falling before moving her hair gently behind her ear. While gently running my fingertips down her arm, I notice that her naked form has a glow to it. I don't know if it is the baby, but she just look stunning. After I give a small peck on the forehead, I let her rest in peace and get her breakfast started and make sure she has some water to wash off.
I am trying the best I can right now and I hope she is satisfied with what I can give her at this moment.
One hour later
I got her food hot and warm, thanks to the cafe and her water ready for to wash off. Hopefully the clothes fit. I have no idea how to shop for a pregnant woman, let alone Erica's taste in clothes. Her car was out of site, which is good for both of us because I am not ready for any more problems right now. One thing at a time.
To be honest, I just want her to sleep in peace because she actually look peaceful and not worrying about her reputation or people judging her. Sadly, she got to get up and fend for the little one inside of her. Her life isn't her own anymore and it is my fault. Why do I have to be such a problem child?
