still remember the toothbrush you always used when you stayed for the night? yes, your old blue toothbrush. i hadn't thrown it away yet. i kept it neat in the glass on the top of the cabinet just to prevent thought of you creeping into my already messed up mind while i was brushing my teeth.
the obvious fact was that i always remembered you. my mind kept on wandering and my dumb ass can't stop thinking about what were you doing right now. were you thinking the same thing about my pink toothbrush in your bathroom too?
if things weren't over between us, you would be here with me. laying next to me while playing with my long tangled hair, whispering funny things about your dream last night. i would end up sleeping in your arms when you started talking about the baseball game you watched weeks ago.
i missed you.
maybe the universe thought this was the great way to torture me. i still had no balls to throw away your toothbrush. maybe this was how this cruel universe made me to think of you.
the universe wanted me to forget how a dick you were to me before i said we were over.
well i still happened to love you.
i hated this thought of you every night and finally, i sat up, wiping away these wasted tears on my cheeks before getting up from the bed. i made my way to the bathroom to take your toothbrush. i had to get on my tiptoes to take it since it was a bit too high for me to take.
i still cried a bit, i even sobbed. i whispered your name softly to myself with your toothbrush in my hand, i slowly let go of it from my hand to the bin before going back to the bed.
—h.
