Claiming His Love {manxman}

CHL: Chapter Twelve

Nikolai Lyev Baranov

It has been a day and a half, thirty-six hours at the latest.

I haven't had any single contact with these traitors, save for Trace because my wolf was calling out for him despite the animosity he had for Hades. Since we had come in contact and established that we were each other's true mate, our wolves longed for each other. 

Disgusting.

Every time one of these fuckers entered a place where I already was, I hopped up and left because I was not going to deal with their bullshit. I was not going to sit there and watch them approach me because I was going to flip my shit if they came near me. Just smelling them made me irritable and I'd rather not have to deal with them until I was ready. It was getting to be Halloween fever at its peak and all of the kids were running around, screaming happily. It made me wonder if any of them decided to dress up as Nikolai the Killer for Halloween. I wouldn't be surprised.

I crack myself up.

I remembered when I was talking to Imani yesterday in the common room and some loser walked in. 

"How are you liking being here so far?" She poked me as she handed me a coffee, black like the souls of these people. I took a sip of the deathly drink, exhaling in relief. "I don't. I merely wish I could die every second I smell the disgusting scents of these rats." I rolled my eyes as she snorted. "But when I'm with you, I feel great." I wasn't lying about that. Imani made my day better when I saw her because she was the piece of heaven in this dark hell. "I just wish these people would stay the fuck out of my way because then, it'd be a lot easier to pretend like I'm having the time of my life." I sarcastically deadpanned.

I was incredibly annoyed by everything and everyone here. It reminded me too much of what my life used to be, what it could have been if it wasn't for that night. It reminded too much of who I used to be and how I turned out to be because of something so small. I may have lost some of these people and their friendships, people who probably never knew or trusted me, to begin with, but these assholes lost someone that truly loved them. They'll never be able to repair that because they lost my trust and they lost me. There was no coming back from that because I was a changed person.

"It feels like shit being here because I don't know these people anymore and they don't know me. They never knew me, Imani, and that's the sad fucking fact!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands together. "They can act like they're sorry and that they regret it all and that they should have believed me, but we wouldn't have been in this predicament if it wasn't for them." I spat coldly. I was at the crime scene and I did have blood on my hands, but why couldn't anyone believe that I was only trying to help? I would never know and I never wanted to know. Even if I did, it wouldn't change how I feel about them. I hated them, I loathed them, I resented them. 

"I know." She whispered in reply and I let out a sigh. "It's just so hard to look at the people who are the reason why I am the way that I am. My life changed because of them and there are things that I can never get back, things that I can never change. I know you said give it time," I shook my head, willing myself not to cry. "But I need more than just time." I calmly stated, looking into her brown eyes. "I will let you know if I can't do anything more but right now, I'm fine." Imani stuck her tongue out, handing me a flower as she stuck it behind my ear. "Whatever you decide to do, I'm with you so please don't shut me out." I shook my head, knowing that I would never do that.

"Oh!" We heard footsteps and we turned to see a woman about 37, walking towards us. Her eyes were swollen with sorrow and regret as she never stood her eyes off of me. I sighed in annoyance as I stood, Imani following suit. "So sorry to bother you guys, but we're having a meal in the crown room." She fidgeted with her fingers as she looked at me, wanting to reach out for me. I recognized her as Rose Popova, one of the ladies who I was close with at one point. It turned out to be that she heavily believed that I was a murderer, so she was nonexistent to me. "No need. I'm not coming." I curtly grunted out, walking around the short woman as she faintly wept. She probably felt guilty because I found that I didn't care. "I'll meet you later, Imani." I waved her off, ignoring the lady I once was friends with.