Claiming His Love {manxman}

CHL: Chapter Twenty Seven

Nikolai Lyev Baranov

Day turned into a dark and empty night.

"WHY DID YOU LET HIM GO?"

I couldn't stop myself from yelling at Mikhail. I couldn't stop myself from yelling at anyone in particular. I couldn't stop myself from being mad as fuck at Mikhail. As the Alpha of the fucking pack, he should've been the first to go. 

But he wasn't who they wanted.

I remembered punching at Nicca's arm, trying to get his arms from around my neck as he dragged me through the slaughter of the battlefield, blood coating my shoes as I kept that hand out, hoping that Trace would just grab on it. It was as if a tornado had come through, whirling and whipping through the crowd, snapping their necks as they laid there to die. Their deaths felt nothing to me because I had nothing left. I remembered hearing the howls of fallen wolves as I cried and begged for Nicca to let me go, just so I can go save my mate. I didn't know what he was going to do, but I knew he was going to die.

I remembered hearing his roar of finality as if everything he had been waiting for had come to an end. Ripped flesh and shattered were nothing compared to the crisp splinter of my heart.

The bloodstained ground was fairly hidden by the fair amount of lifeless bodies adorning it and the fur of the fallen soldiers. Maybe the other side had left when they had gotten what they wanted. Some of their men were dead and limbs apart, but they had the upper hand. They had far more weapons designed to endanger and kill our kind. They were smart, too smart and it cost me everything. I couldn't tell if those people were crying because they didn't have to deal with enemy anymore as they ran out, or if because they had lost so much for no reason. Either way, there were no cheers of victory. 

For a brief period of time, every person relished in the silence of submission, the silence of knowing that your loved one, your best friend, your mate could be dead.

There wasn't a single thing that they could do about it.

Why, Ronin? Why? Was this my redemption for everything that I had done in the past? Was taking away what mattered the most to me your way of telling me that I was saved? That my sins and every act of misdemeanor were atoned for? I would happily sin every day if it meant that I could erase this entire day and take comfort in the fact that Trace was here to stay. It was as if I could hear his last words mocking me inside of my head, taunting me.

'Please just remember, I'll always come back to you.'

It was that moment in which I could feel the remnants of our bond, our connection, our love, diminishing away like the fog of a cold and rainy day. I tried so hard to hold onto it, but it was like water slipping through my fingers and crashing to the ground. All I could do was watch with eyes widened in dread as it finally registered within me what had happened. 

It felt like I was being thrown back into that night of six years ago, watching him leave me once again. I felt like I had snatched my heart out of its cage and placed it in his hands, only to watch him run away with it. I wasn't so sure if I could feel his connection anymore—I couldn't feel his wolf anymore.

'Hades...' Lance trailed off as he howled in sorrow, his eyes mirroring the cracking of my heart. Whatever it was, it had won. It had sucked up all of my happiness and hope. "Nikolai," Mikhail whispered as I banged my fists against the ground, soaking it with my tears. All of my scars were bared open to the world and there was no healing for them. They would continue to have salt poured into them for as long as I lived. There were no words to describe this level of pain, agony, and anguish that I was feeling. There were no words that could formulate a sentence that would make these people understand what I was going through. "It had to be done." His voice was hollow as Nicca stood next to me, unsure if he could comfort me or not. I didn't want to be touched. I wanted Trace. I needed Trace. I could want all I wanted to, but it wasn't going to soothe the fact that he ran outside amidst the blaze and he had given himself up, just so the entire pack would be safe.