I stood in my room staring at the pile of clothes scattered across the soft blue carpet of my bedroom. In the next room I could hear the excited giggles from Amy and the girls I once called friends but had jumped ship once they found out about the kiss, they were disappointed in me for leading Aron on.
Taking a deep breath I reached into my wardrobe and pulled out the one dress left in there. It was the same one I had worn on the night Aron and I had finally sorted things out. Looking back on that night felt like I was looking back on someone else’s life. It made me feel sick to my stomach trying to work out what might have been had I not put everything before my friends and family. The college degree that sat lonely on my resumé now, that had gotten me no closer to getting a job.
Lightly pressing the backs of my hands to my cheeks I dusted off the silent tears that had fallen in my moment of reminiscence before I stood up and grabbed what I needed heading into the bathroom taking a quick shower. I would swallow my pride and join everyone at the restaurant tonight but I would do it with my head held high, pretending that I wasn’t breaking down.
Makeup done and my hair looking fantastic I adorned the dress and a pair of heels I knew I could walk in comfortable before heading downstairs to join everyone else.
“Nice of you to finally get down here.” Amy sneered in my direction, “You know you could be a little more considerate.”
“Hey! Relax she’s here now isn’t she?” Dylan answered for me giving me a sly wink which I responded to with a small smile.
Amy huffed frustrated and grabbed at Aron’s hand dragging him out the door with the girls trailing behind like a flock of sheep.
“I thought this was supposed to get easier.” I muttered feeling the pang of jealousy after seeing Aron’s hand gripping hers back remembering the days that it was my hand he would hold onto like that.
“It will, but it’s gonna take a long time.” my brother’s voice was joined with a supportive arm across my shoulders as we walked out to the cars where I slid into the backseat with Jordan and his new girlfriend, Randi.
“This could get interesting.” I whispered to myself as the thoughts ran through my mind of exactly why Aron had invited everyone out on his date with Amy tonight. It was scaring me that this would be something to change everything no matter how much I tried to suppress that worry.
We pulled up to the restaurant half an hour later piling inside Dylan cutting in front of others opting to sit with me for which I was incredibly grateful for when I saw that I had been given the seat opposite the happy couple just trying my best to ignore them focusing on the others trying to preoccupy myself with talking to Dylan about anything stupid and pointless until the time when Aron tapped his glass standing up and we all turned our attention to him my heart threatening to pound out of my chest in a panic.
“I know it seems weird that I asked you all out tonight with us but in a way it was partly Amy’s idea. She wanted you all to be here for this. She just didn’t know that’s why I asked you to come…. I’m sorry, I’m rambling, things work out better on paper.”, a smile found it’s way onto my lips as the memories slammed into me taking a shaky breath trying to stay calm, “Anyway…. Amy, you mean more to me than anything in this world,”
I froze the moment I realised what he was doing the panic I had pushed down to hide was coming up and bubbling over the surface but still only Dylan was seemingly taking notice of it and he comfortingly gripped my hand to calm me down but not even my best friend’s assurance was any help.
“I love you more than I have ever loved anyone.” did he know how much of a smack in the face this was? “What I’m trying to get at is… Amy, will you marry me?”
Everything was still for what felt like forever before she said yes and everyone cheered for them congratulating them and amy hugged Aron tightly. All of this was happening in slow motion to me, I felt like I was moving through syrup as I stood up shaking terribly leaving the restaurant as quickly as I could just turning down the street sobbing and trembling not in the right state of mind. I ignored the calls of my name from behind me as I walked away from it all no destination in mind just an intense need to get away from there.
It had hit me like a ton of bricks. He wasn’t mine anymore…. He never really had been mine at all.
