You Can Just Call Me Spidey

Peter & Clint

Okay so this has probably been done before but I just realized that bird rhymes with nerd so... yeah...

Also, this chapter starts off with Clint but has nothing to do with them. Really just Peter. 

Enjoy the chapter!

(This one is pure crack, not meant to be taken seriously)

✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌

Clint made his way through the vents. Peter was on a field trip, and oh boy he was ready to fuck up this kid's day so much he would never want to go to school again.

"Peter, my dude, my web-slinging nerd!" Clint said, tumbling out of his vent and landing on Peter. 

Peter said nothing. Instead, he looked at Ned, his friend, confused.

"Come on, dude!"Clint whined. "You're supposed to say Clint, my man, my majestical bird!" 

Peter looked at Clint before his eyes lit up. "Oh my gosh, you're Hawkeye! You're an Avenger! This is so cool!" Peter's face lit up, but he seemed to be visibly cringing at his own excitement. 

Now Clint was confused. "Um... I just saw you yesterday- oh!" Clint looked at Peter's classmates. "I see, didn't want to make your classmates jealous about your internship, right?" Clint gave Peter an exaggerated wink. Peter sighed.

"Yeah..." he mumbled. 

A/N: Wow that was a fast character change oh ma gawd this is like, so in character.

(ミ￣ー￣ミ)

"Isn't Peter too young to be an intern for Mr. Stark?" A kid asked. 

"Isn't Captain America a little too old to be alive? A wise man once said, 'we're fighting an army of robots, and I have a bow and arrow.' None of this makes sense. The world is full of shit."

"Well ain't that the truth," came the voice of a superhero playboy billionaire philanthropist.

"Well, if it isn't the Tin Man," Clint said. 

"Shut it, birdbrain."

"When do I get a nickname?" Rhodey asked, strolling in behind Tony.

"I called you sour-patch once," Tony pointed out.

Rhodey gave him The Look. 

"Okay then," Tony said, whistling. "You will be, The Man Who Had No Legs." 

"Really?"

"I cried when I had no pants, but then I met a man who had no legs," Tony pointed out.

"The saying is for feet," Rhodey monotoned. 

"And I've never cried pantless," Tony rebutted. 

"Well, I'll just be on my merry way," Peter said, suddenly giving not a single fuck in the world. 

"Mr. Parker, come back!" Mr. Olive said, the teacher chaperone on Peter's trip. 

Peter ripped his shirt off, revealing his Spider-suit and started on his pants. He threw his mask on his face and walked out of the tower. 

"Hey, Spider-Man!" Called a civilian.

"Sup, I'm Peter-Man. -I mean, Spider-Parker!" Peter then threw off his mask before giving all of 

new York the middle finger and stopped a robbery.

It was a pretty good day.