Our Hearts' Desire (The Monkees Family Vol. 2)

Chapter 33

A few days after her dinner with Micky at Peter and Dawn's, Robert came into Gabby's office and handed her a note. It was from Micky asking her if she wanted to attend the AA meeting on Thursday night at 7 p.m. at the NoHo Church. Gabby's eyebrows rose as she asked Robert "Isn't that a weird name for a church? Sounds like their sole mission is to rail against prostitutes or something."

Robert snickered and said "NoHo means North Hollywood, Gabby. You don't know that because you're a WeHo snob. West Hollywood."

She frowned at him a bit and then said "Oh, okay. Phew! Can you tell Micky I'll meet him at the meeting? I don't want to call him."

"Sure, I can do that." Robert left the office and wondered how long it would take for these two fragile, broken people who were actually still married to each other to progress to the point where they could communicate directly with each other. It made him think twice about the idea he had been toying with to propose to Lynda.

Gabby arrived at the meeting about fifteen minutes early. She noticed that Micky was running around, helping to set up for the meeting. He was unfolding chairs, setting out piles of pamphlets, and checking to make sure there were enough Styrofoam coffee cups. He spotted Gabby, but merely waved and continued on with his work until it was done. Then, when he was finished, he walked over to her and greeted her.

"Hey, Gabby. Sorry, but I had to finish setting up before the meeting starts. You don't have enough coffee at these meetings and you've got a riot on your hands. Oh, shit. Sorry, bad choice of words."

Gabby laughed, realizing Micky thought he'd made a faux pas, considering Gabby had actually been in a real riot, caused by the police when a bunch of protesters whom she was helping to lead on a march to protest the Vietnam War were viciously attacked, none more so than Gabby herself.

"It's okay, Micky. I get what you're saying. It's the same at the meetings I go to. It's good to see you giving service and doing your part."

"Yeah, my sponsor's real strict about giving service and getting my head outta my ass. That's how I ended up at Peter and Dawn's. I had no idea what they had been through with the new baby, but when Peter told me the night of the birthday party, I asked if I could help out."

"I'm really proud of you for doing that. I got my own head straight while you were away by helping them, and also starting up a volunteer program for young girls to get paired up with career women. They get to go to work with them, check out what they do for a living, ask them questions about their job and basically try to imagine themselves picking up the ball and running with it. I said the same thing to myself after I'd spent a lot of time wallowing – I've got to do something for others so I can get my head outta my ass."

Micky smiled at Gabby with pride but also a tight line of remorse drawn across his lips. He knew that the misery that drove her to giving service and starting that program was of his own making and that he was fully responsible for her malaise. Still, he tried to focus on the positive and focus on her affirmation that he was doing the right thing and was in sync with her own way of handling life's troubles. It had always been a hallmark of their relationship that they were intensely supportive of each other's efforts and that they were of one mind on most issues. The only thing they had ever differed on was the question of children, until . . .

Micky shook his head and wouldn't allow his mind to go there. 'Don't go there,' he said to himself, almost out loud. He used a lot of affirmations and self-talk these days, plus some prayer to the God of his understanding (whom he just referred to as the God of Music since he didn't really believe in a religious god), to keep his mind from running in its old self-destructive paths. He had to retrain himself to reach for a meeting or a slogan or a prayer instead of a drink, a drug or a loose broad when the feelings he was experiencing were causing him pressure and angst.