Our Hearts' Desire (The Monkees Family Vol. 2)

Chapter 42

He dragged his fingers down the length of her arms, which were extended to her sides as she steadied herself.  He caressed her arms, her back, her hips, her butt, then withdrew from her, removed the condom and set it aside, and laid her down flat on her belly and straddled her.  He began to massage her upper body, kneading her neck and shoulders and humming to her.

"Come lie down with me, Micky.  I want to be close to you."  He crawled down next to her and spooned behind her back.  Planting small kisses on her ear, he was pleased to note, caused small shivers each time he did it.  He whispered "Let's get under the blankets, hmmm?"  She nodded and allowed him to swaddle them in luxury comfort with the fancy bedding their very expensive suite provided.

"Mmmmm, Micky.  I'm very cozy with you.  But I just thought of something.  I have to walk the dogs tomorrow morning.  Can you ask for a wakeup call for me at 6?"

"Oh, darn, yeah, sure I can do that."  He paused, then asked "Does that mean you're leaving me at 6?  We have the room until noon.  I had way more pampering and other stuff in mind for you."

"I could come back.  I'm very close by.  I'll go home, walk them and come back."

Micky wondered if he ought to push it and ask if he could come with her.  He desperately didn't want to separate from her, let her leave and break the spell, remind him that she had a separate home whose location was secret.

She interrupted his thoughts.  "I know, you want to come with me.  Tell me why."

"Wow, we're back to talking without words.  That makes me so happy.  Well, I just don't want to break the spell.  And I'll miss you.  And to be honest, it makes me sad that you'll be leaving me here, going back to your place, to a home you have that I don't know where it is.  And the reason why I don't know where it is is because you said you were afraid of me.  It was your safe house in case I wanted to hurt you.  But you told me tonight, when we got here, that you trusted me now.  So that seems like mixed messages, and I don't know what to make of that.  But I'm not going to push you, Gabby.  You deserve to have your safe haven, for whatever reasons, for as long as you need it."

Gabby turned to Micky in the dark and embraced him, then ran her fingers through his hair, measuring each of his words and giving consideration to them.  Which of them were based on insecurities and which rang with cold, hard reason? 

Gabby said "I understand what you're telling me.  It's a confusing, mixed message I'm sending you.  Let me put it another way to you.  I came into this hotel suite, not realizing how much I was going to let my guard down, and it took me by surprise.  But for some reason, it feels like an important, valuable concession that you made, to allow me to keep my home location a secret, and I have a feeling that it's because you did that that I was able to lay aside my distrust and be as one with you now.  For some reason, it's that last bastion of independence I'm clinging to that's holding the whole thing together for me.  And I'm not ready to let go of it yet.  I've already gone way farther with you tonight than I ever dreamed I would.  I really thought this was going to be a quick dinner date at Ed's, but look where we are instead.  I'd rather see this as major progress, than me holding out that one last thing on you.  Can you see it from that point of view?"

Micky stayed silent for a few moments, considering the situation from Gabby's point of view instead of his own.  He realized that she was raising valid points and that her way of seeing the situation was her own truth, and that his didn't matter when it came to the question of how safe and trusting she felt.  He sighed and conceded "Yes, of course, I see it and understand it now that you've explained it that way.  I guess it's a question of seeing the glass half-full rather than half-empty."

Gabby could tell there were still a few reservations stuck in Micky's mind.  She waited, but he didn't say anything else.  She didn't want the conversation to end without a meeting of the minds and definitely didn't want the evening to end on a sour note.  "Keep talking to me, Micky.  Talk to me more."