Depressed Playgirl

Twisted Mind

At first I told them that I am not ready for any relationship. So, I'll just leave their confession unreplied and then continue to talk to them. The way I talk to them is more than just a friend. I want them to feel like they were being treated like a someone special to me. 

I know damn well.. that I'm a little bit of conceited. But you see, when I do it, I can feel the pleasure of receiving special treatment from them. Yes! Attention. 

"Attention Seeker" "Whore" "Slut" "B_tch"

Call me all you want and I don't care.

Or at least that is what I would say before the incident happened.  

It's not like I intentionally want to give them false hope. I didn't know that I did that. I just love talking and texting them. Sometimes, I act like a innocent girl and act cutely with them. They just caught the bait and I was pulling them deeper and hopefully making them obsessed over me.

I never knew how or what boys will do when they fell in love with someone. But now I know.

They gave me stuff. Presents. Not even my birthday yet and I'm enjoying it. They gave me things like perfumes, chocolates, teddy bears and maybe some letters. Sweet am I right? And I toyed with their feelings.

I know what I did was wrong and I do feel bad for them. But I can't help it. I never been so happy in my entire life.

I was so lonely. My parents hardly home sometimes. They always get mad at me. I don't even have any friend when I was just a little kid. I was shy after all. But after being like this, I feel more confident.

As the time gone by, I gained some friends. They all knew what I have been doing secretly. I told them so there's no secret between us. Fortunately, they accepted they way that I am. I am glad.

Sometimes, I even screenshot-ed the conversation between me and those boys that I have been chatting with. It's like showing them my achievements. 

Boys are so unique. To be honest, I like being friends with them more than girls. They are funny, friendly, and easy-going. On top of that, I know they wouldn't dare to hurt a lady.

Girls on the other hand are emotional, hard to talk with, and some of them are even rotten to the core. Most of them are hypocrites. I don't like that. 

My friends are an exception. They understands me. Of course my friends would advise me sometimes. I know I'm twisted. Don't we all? :)

I felt like I have a lot of boyfriends that cares for me. And they have no idea about my true nature. I did thought about telling them about it. But, I am afraid of losing them. I don't want to.

I already feel so attached to them. I am scared.