Depressed Playgirl

Mixed Feelings

This time, I am going to tell you a story about the 'other' guy that I chose over Alex and Donny.

His name is Jacob. First of all, he was my first ever crush. No kidding. It's been like that since I was 15 years old. He wasn't even that all attractive but he is fun. He is soft-spoken. Till now, nobody have seen him get mad. He is like a cinnamon roll. He is good at socializing. Has a lot of friends. Not like me.

I don't get why I even like him in the first place. Oh, he is rich too or should I say his father?

No, I didn't like him because of his wealth. He is really kind and cute. Let me just say that I would fall for any guy who is cute.

How I get to know him?
Well, I have known him for about a few years ago. Then, he became my classmate. I used to peeked and stared at him secretly from time to time.

The most heart-racing time was when I needed to do a group work with him. The teacher teamed us up and of course with one of his friends.
I went to his table with a chair to sit near him since he didn't want to move to girls' seats.

We talked and that was when it began. We get to know each other better. He was like a true gentlemen.

After all those years passed, I let go of my feelings for him since I didn't think it would be accepted by him. I never confessed. I'm not the type to daringly confessed if you like someone. I would rather keep it to myself.

One day, he started texting me. That time he was going on a vacation with his family. We exchanged text messages for a long time. Days passed, I jokingly asked him for souvenir and he said "We'll see."

Suddenly, I felt the urge to asked him if he liked me because the way he talk to me and treat me is just different. I felt like I was being treated specially.

He said, "What if I say I do?" and I replied "I don't know"

He then admitted that he like me since years ago. The first time we get to know each other but he was too shy to admit. I was touched and the feelings I tried to forget all came back. I didn't know what to do.

The next day, he came back and he gave me a bag from Thailand saying that it is for my last birthday present.

I was still thinking about what he had said to me.

I asked my friends opinion what I should do. I already confessed to Alex that I like him.

Then I realized, if I really like Alex, I wouldn't have fall for Jacob.

I chose Jacob.

Although I felt like Alex was the right one, I still chose Jacob.

Like I said before, I didn't want to hurt one of them. I rather hurt both.

Alex and Donny didn't know what happened behind them. I didn't tell them about it yet because their examination are very near and I didn't want it to be a distraction.

I wanted to tell them properly after it but things didn't go as I planned it to be.

Sometime later after their examination ended, they found out about it. In a hard way.