I hate how I let the little things get to me. I focus too much on what's not important to others, but is so important to me. If I say one thing it's taken the wrong way or made fun of. I can't win.
Half the time I'm overanalyzing everything I say and think about it twice before I say it, and then when I do, it's not good enough. If I do say something clever enough, I'm given a little praise, my heart swells and I try harder to fit into the conversation.
It's not fun when you keep thinking you're not worthy of the company you are around. It's not fun when the people around you are always referring to you as the lackey or someone's little side kick. It's not fun or funny, so cut that shit. And if I stand up for myself, I'm told not to act like a child and not take it too seriously.
I hate when people act condescendingly towards others. You don't have to make someone feel bad about themselves, so you can feel better about yourself. That's just being a shitty human being.
I need to learn not to let the little things get to me. Not let their jokes get under my skin. But it's so hard not to let the words bury deep inside you, when in the back of your mind, you believe it yourself.
