The Unspoken Words of Kiefer Ravena

Chapter 17: Her Real Score

"Gusto kita Mika, gusto kita." sabi ni Cameron in a serious tone. FOR REAL CAM?

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Whatt a joke Mac? That was so funny huh? Where did you learn that?" I said as a response.

"I am serious. I like you Mika." sabi niya. "b-but.."  I stattered

"You don't have to explain or tell or say anything okay? I just like you, you being you. You being Mika Reyes. That's it. Calm down. Let's go." pang-aaya nya.

Ahhh Okay? Talaga ha? After that almost awkward moment, drinive nya na ako pauwi. Binaba nya ako sa kabilang street na malapit sa street namin kasi naman! Baka kung ano ang isaisip at isapuso ng nanay at tatay at buong lahi ko ano pag nakita nila akong bumaba sa kote ng isang lalaki. Lalo pa't Americano tong si Cameron.

Dumerecho na ako sa kwarto ko and I threw myself on my bed. I was just staring at our ceiling hmmm 7pm palang pero parang sobrang pagod na pagod at antok na antok na ako. Ewan. Hindi na ako kakain at matutulog na ako.

Paggising ko kinabukasan, pumunta ako sa bintana at hinawi ang kurtina. Dinilat ko ang mga mata ko dahil sa silaw ng araw. Tumingin ako sa labas ng bahay namin at nakita ko yung sunflower....and wait?! S-si Kiefer ba itong nakikita ko? Teka. 

Kinusot ko yung mata ko when I actually realized na wala pala sya. This feeling. Sepanx? Hay mika. 

Buong araw kong hindi nakita ni isang strand ng buhok ni Mr. Kiefer Ravena. Hay nako grabe lang talaga. "You wanna eat somethingg?" tanong ni Cam habang naglalakad kami palabas ng gym. Katatapos lang kasi namin magtraining.

"Ahm, did Kiefer attended the practice?" tanong ko sa kanya. "Ah no. Maybe he's out for something or what. I don't know." sabi nya with matching hand and shoulder gestures.

"Ah okay. I'll go first ha? Bye!."  sabi ko. At bago pa man sya makareact umuwi na ako.

Nananadya ata tong si Manong ah, nagpapamiss. Buong week, hindi sya pumasok. Hoy pareng Ravena effective yan ha? Namimiss na kita.

Dahil lugmok ako sa bahay at wala akong magawa, heto at nagjogging ako. Actually nakarating na ako sa finish line ko, sa park. Haaaayy Bumalik nanaman ang mga.... urgh! Naalala nyo ba yung time na inaya ako ni Kiefer dito? 

(FLASHBACK)

Nakita ko syang nakaupo at hinihintay na ako. Himala ata na nauna sya sa aking dumating. May gusto talaga 'tong patunayan oh! Tinanong ko sya kung bakit nag-aya sya dito sa park. Parang may mali eh. I mean alam kong may mabigat na pinapas-an itong manong ko.

He said that he will leave and will go to LA. My mouth left hanging. I was shocked. I don't know what to say, what to do or what to react. He hugged me, tightier than a friend can give. You know what? I have this feeling I can't explain. Everytime na kasama ko tong si Kiefer, my not-so-ordinary day turns into an extraordinary day. He always have that happiness kaya nahahawa narin ako. Ang gaan alam mo yun?

I can feel the his tears on my shoulder. And this is the first time I almost see him crying. He asked me on what to do and I was again, shocked.

Hey Mr. Ravena do you really want to know my answer? NO. I DON'T WANT YOU TO GO. Okay, magpapakaselfish na ako, kahit ngayon lang. Ayokong malayo ka sa akin. Within this small interval of time, Kiefer, you become part of my life. If I will be the one to decide? I won't let you go, there but at the end of the day being generous is better than being selfish. I don't want him to sacrifice all he have for just a FRIEND like ME.

I told him to grab it. Nung sinabi ko yun, parang bumigat yung puso ko. To the point na I can't breathe. To the point na hindi na ako makagalaw, naghihina na ako. Pero kailangan kong maging strong as his friend. I need to support him. Even if supporting him will be the same as letting him free, letting him go. 

I dint expect he next scenario, para kang tanga. At this point, all I want to do is to cry and hug him and kiss him but I can't. I can't because I don't have the right. He see me as his friend, his bestfriend. There's a big wall that separates us. Niyakap nya ako when he said he's not sure when will he come back. I hugged him back, sobrang higpit. Kahit ito nalang ang way ko to express how much I feel.

"You know what miks? Life is all about sacrifices, But once you started to let go of something be sure not to regret your decision because if you do, then it only means one thing, you lose." Kiefer said. That slapped me on my face. I know, talo ako because I let you go. In this one-way relationship, I am the only one fighting, I am the only one hurting but I have to accept this, I will take this as  a punishment of loving a person who already love someone. I may be an ass, a bitch, a slut kasi I'm doing this kahit na alam kong may Trizia sya pero wala eh.

Kung pagmamahal ang maitatawag mo dito edi sige. I love him. But to love also means to sacrifice. I know he love me, as his friend. Then, a friend should always support her friend no matter what. 

I grabbed his phone and took a selfie. I tried my hardest best to smile. At least you still have this face on your phone wherever you are.

After that, I decided to go na. I again, hugged him, gamit ang natitira ko pang lakas. If loving a person means letting them go then be it. Umalis na ako, at sa bawat step ko papalayo sa kanya, ay ang sabay ng pagulo ng luha ko. Hindi naman sa sinasabi kong he should stop me from walking away, pero umasa ako. I mean, umasa ako na sana we have the same feelings for each other pero wala.

(end of flashback)

Naramdaman kong tumutulo na ang luha ko. Ang sakit lang kasi balikan lahat. Dito yun mismo. Dito.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Hello. xx