OMG, can you believe it? I'm single. I'm going to be single for the rest of my life. I hate my life! I'm going to be sad and lonely and depressed for the rest of my life! Oh, woe is to me! I know, I'm 12 and I've only had 3 boyfriends before. Now, nobody will ever date me.
Pity me, minions!
Okay, fine, I got a little carried away with the last sentence but honest to God, I couldn't keep up the act. I had to force my fingers to type out each letter and to Mr, each letter was like another F in my exam.
Gut wrenching.
Anyways, today's rant is going to be about the silly little pricks who think they need a guy to make them happy.
For starters: are you seriously that stupid that you think Prince Charming is just going, I don't know, waltz into your life, sweep you off your feet and declare all your problems solved?
Oh no, sweetie, it doesn't work like that in real life. So stop fooling yourself and get a grip with reality.
And secondly - wait, hold on, let me fetch a gun. You know, just for safety's sake.
Now, back to what I was saying - a guy is not going to solve all your problems and suddenly make you happy.
Understood? No?
Fine then, I'll explain it in more detail.
Idiots.
Right, you see, when a guy starts holding your hands and kissing you and dropping the L bomb - it does not magically solve your problems. That teacher you hate? She/he still exists. You're failing Maths? The problem still exists. Your parents hate you? They still hate you.
A guy cannot solve any of these problems unless he's Batman. Or Superman.
You have to solve these problems yourself - you have to be happy without that idiot in your life before you invite the idiot.
Only if you're happy without the idiot, will you be happy with the idiot.
So I hope you learnt your lesson today, kiddies: guys are not fairies with wands who can just wave them and bam! Problem free life!
I wish.
Guys are normal human beings, this may come across as a shock to those 12 year olds out there, but I can say, hand on my heart, it's true.
Whether you're single or not, actually doesn't matter. This is coming from the girl who has been single her entire life.
I'm not embarrassed to admit it - I've never been in a relationship and I'm not looking for one either. I'm perfectly happy without a boyfriend. And besides, boyfriends can be distractions. You hear that, kiddies?
Boyfriends can be distractions.
Repeat, kiddies, repeat!
Boyfriends can be distractions.
You know why? Because relationships are damn hard. Okay? You gotta work hard, day in and day out to maintain that relationship.
A bit like school, really, except you don't get any holidays or weekends or days off.
And that concludes the end of today's lesson, kiddies. I hope you all rook your notes because I'm not teaching this stupid lesson again. It's too much work.
Anyways, hope you enjoyed this rant, if you did, press that vote button on your way out.
And any comments, you know what to do with them.
Later folks
~Izzy
YOU ARE READING
A Rant-Worthy World
AcakA book about all the things that annoy me in this world. Warning: there will be swearing in this book and it may be offensive If you don't like swearing or are offended easily, don't read. Simple as.
