Finding myself

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"I know it's only a week that you'll be away but I just wanted to let you know that I love you and I'll miss you. Stay safe babygirl and text me every chance you get", he says .

A kiss his cheek and sit back and admire him, he was perfect.

"I will I promise baby",I say boarding the plane .

This was my official first time boarding a plane and I was extremely excited to finally get to meet my mom.

The flight was long and boring and I missed Zion. All I was able to eat with animal crackers and water and I was ready to land .

Finally landing in LA I'm met by my parents and little sister.

At first I was nervous but I was instantly embraced in a hug. Emotions overwhelmed me and I start crying .

"Don't cry Laynee, it'll be ok", Lailana says hugging me tightly.

I plant a kiss on her head.

We head to the house where my grandma is cooking and it smells delish. She looks at me and instantly starts crying.

My little sister shows me to the guest room and I prepare to get myself settled. I take a quick little shower and post a quick picture to instagram.

I head into the living room with my family and I feel awkward and embarrassed

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I head into the living room with my family and I feel awkward and embarrassed. This wasn't my family and I was wasting my time .

Lailanna walks over towards me and sits next to me, leaning her head on my shoulder.

"I love you sissy", she says smiling .

She was absolutely amazing and really cute she looked just like me when I was younger . When I looked at my family compared to me and how they had red hair and green eyes and I had black hair and brown eyes .

I knew I was different

"I love you too Lai", I say smiling at her .

She smiles.

"What are you going to name the baby?", she asks rubbing my stomach .

"Zaire Naijah Kuwonu", I say .

"It's pretty and I'm sure she'll look just like you", she says .

Momma walks over and she leaves me by myself, she looks at me with hurt in her eyes as she's filled with sorrow .

She wrapped me in a hug and cried into my neck. I could feel sorrow in her voice as she cried. I knew she was sorry and that it hurt her to give me up .

My parents were young and immature and they weren't ready for a child . I was given up because obvious reasons compared to my sisters Lailanna and Leenla they were years younger then I which showed how much more mature my parents had became and birth two more to prove it.

Yes I was hurt but I was home now .

Yes I was hurt but I was home now

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