MDZS Short Stories

Meow!

Canon-deviant, cats, vignettes, crack

Wei Wuxian X Lan Wangji
Song Lan X Xiao Xingchen

A universally known fact is that Yunmeng is cat paradise. Why this is, no one knows!

Well, maybe except for the Yunmeng Jiang.

Or in which Wei Wuxian decides that the best way to rid of dogs is to get cats and it goes out of control.

~^~^~^~^~^~

A pair of yellow eyes stare up challengingly at blank purple ones.

They stare each other down, not backing off and the tension is so palpable that one could cut it with a knife.

Madam Yu lets out a smirk as she and the cat look away at the same time, approving of the gutsy little thing.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Wei Wuxian is being used as a cat bed.

Jin Guangyao blinks, then blinks again and another time for good measure. Nope, still seeing the same thing, he wasn't hallucinating. The usual smile was slowly crumbling in bewilderment.

Let me rephrase that in a way that would make why he was shocked make sense.

The Yiling Patriarch, who is able to raise the dead and almost singlehandedly tipped the scales in the Sunshot Campaign; the grandmaster of demonic cultivation who has a cult following; the founder of diabolism who was currently inventing world-changing things and making hunting corpses and all that so much easier; the holder of the Stygian Tiger Seal; one of the two people who had actually killed a Xuanwu was currently being used.

As a cat bed.

Wei Wuxian yawned and opened his eyes to see his adopted step-brother-in-law, he waved at him as best as he could with a brown cat on his arm.

...what the f*ck.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Jin Zixuan clung onto Jiang Yanli with all his life.

He had just visited the Lotus Pier, wanting to see his fiancée, when suddenly, cats began to scratch and chase him around.

He saw Yanli, then stayed close because the cats were somehow two-faced and acted like good little kitties around her. It was mildly disturbing, how smart they were.

But still.

Jiang Cheng looked at him in disdain, probably mocking him in his head for clinging onto a woman who doesn't cultivate for protection.

(What he doesn't know was that he was disdained for being scared of cats.)

(Wei Wuxian gave the cats extra treats for acting out their role.)

~^~^~^~^~^~

Wang Lingjiao was scared away by cats. Thus, Lotus Pier never burned.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Wei Wuxian looked down at the Burial Mounds from the spot he was on.

That was...a lot of resentful energy.

But Wei Wuxian couldn't be called Wei Wuxian if he doesn't attempt the impossible—something Jiang Cheng was forbidden to do by Madam Yu—that is using resentful energy to cultivate.

A cat—Xiao Hei—with fluffy black fur and—unnerving—red eyes nudged him and curled her tail around his arm, asking to be spoiled and indulged.

Wuxian mindlessly pet her, deciding that he will definitely keep a grip on himself.

(And thus, the Yiling Patriarch was born. Without the emotional and mental instabilities or the blame of Jiang Cheng.)

~^~^~^~^~^~

Lan Wangji lay beside his husband, absentmindedly petting a cat and trying his best not to move. Wei Wuxian was curled around his arm and a horde of cats were using him as a bed while their master(read: bed) was unavailable.

Wangji suppressed the twitch of his mouth when the rabbits came and started laying on him too.

Lan Xichen watched them with amusement, small Lan Jingyi and Wen Yuan dozing beside him and covered with rabbits and a stray cat or two.

Lan Wangji wondered just how his life became like this.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Nobody talks about the Discussion Conference that was held in Yunmeng. Nobody.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Xiao Xingchen wondered just how smart cats were.

They were tugging him along with them to the Lotus Pier, that he wanted to visit, his very touchy and talkative Martial Nephew—who was coincidentally currently the most feared man in the world—chatting up a storm even when he sometimes lapses in attention.

Song Zichen was clearly amused by it, judging from how his lips quirked up.

Oh well, it wasn't like he knew how the world currently was like.

~^~^~^~^~^~

No one talks about the way Wen Chao and Wen Zhuliu died. Except maybe for jokes.

~^~^~^~^~^~

Lol. I'll do a second part if I ever get inspired.