Different ❤Cake❤

~6

Calum

I end up falling asleep on my sister. I feel my body being laid down but I don't open my eyes. I go back to the unhurting dreams. 

I wake up to the brightest, most beautiful auburn rays shining through my window. 

I can make today okay, I think. I know that I will not be able to be okay today.

Let's try. I hit the snooze button on the alarm clock and look around my room before standing. School. I must say I don't have it bad. Everyone seems to really like me. I don't have any bullying problems. Good grades. Captain for the South West Porcupine Foot Ball team. I'm in band. School is great for me. But Luke. I can just picture it so perfectly, Kendal Smith tripping Luke nearly everyday in the cafeteria. Everyone is so rude to him. Including me.

I grab shirt and slip it over my head, along with my jersey. I slip on my blue running shorts and put my shoes on.  We have a game tonight, home. I'm a bit better then decent at the sport. I've brushed my teeth and combed my hair and before I knew it, the time came around to start off to school.

I should just stay home. Yeah. I can always head there after school for practice before the game. Perfect.

No. I have to go. I don't just skip school. I sigh, and with the hang of my head, I open the door, slip my backpack strap over my shoulder, and walk out. The sun is shining. It usually isn't this bright, but today is fine.

I'm walking until I see a blonde head a few feet in front of me come walking out of nowhere. I stop walking when I see a cast on this boys hand, and a strap on his shoulder. He stops walking and adjusts something. But for a split second he turns around, and our eyes meet.

Lucas.

"Lu-"

"Why?" Tears instantly pour from his eyes. He drops his bag and stares at me. I take in his appearance. Since he's turned around, I see how much more damage was done. His right eye is bruised. His lip is tore up, and his cheeks are discolored. Pale..

"I didn't mean for this to happen Luke," Tears well up in my eyes in pools. He closes his eyes.

"Why do you hate me so much?" His words are hard and sharp. I shake my head.

"I don't hate you Lu-"

"Yes you do. Why? Don't lie to me why do you hate me so much? To let it go this far? To hold me back and waste my time?" His voice has risen.

"I don't hate you," I love you. "I didn't hold you back to waste your time I wanted to tell you I didn't want to chase you," I'm queer too. Tears fall fast from both of our eyes.

"Why are you crying?" His words are so soft. True sympathy and care are behind his words.

"Because you are...Look at you..I didn't mean for this to happen. I'm so sorry," I start to sob. I'm not crying just because he is now. It's all coming out. How he has so much hate in his voice when he screams at me, the fear in his eyes when I approach, the tears in his eyes, the hurt in his chest, how he hates me, how I'm so rude, how I bully him. "I'm sorry about everything. Luke. Please. I'm so sorry," I nearly am yelling. "I'm so sorry for every name I've ever called you. I'm sorry I laugh when people are mean. I'm sorry for calling out your sexuality. I'm sorry that I'm such a fucking asshole. I'm so sorry Luke I'm so so so sorry. I want to take it back, I can't do this with you anymore. You don't deserve this, I mean look at you. This is my fault I deserve the pain I'm-" I can't go on. I'm crying so hard that I don't believe he could make out my last words. I try to clam down but it makes it worse. I turn around and start to run

"Calum!" He yells. I don't turn around, I keep running. I run all the way home as fast as I can. I run through the door and run upstairs and slam my door shut. I scream and cry and pace and throw things. I'm a mess. Finally. He understands, he has to. 

The nice thing is that my parents get up for work an hour earlier and my sister gets up a half an hour earlier for her bus. I'm alone for 9 more hours. No Luke. No school. No family. I open the door and make my way downstairs. A knock sounds at the door. Not thinking, I wipe my face off and open the door.

There stands Luke.

"I'm sorry." His voice is quiet. "I'm so stupid, I'm an idiot. I'm sorry about the names I've called you. I didn't mean them. I'm sorry for being-"

"You have nothing to be sorry about, it's me it's all me, it's my fault Luke," I take his unbroken hand and pull him gently inside. He is caught off guard and his eyes fill with fear. "Relax..Please." 

"I do. Look how I've treated you,"

"Only because of what I did to you," I look away from him. "I'm sorry.." I wanna tell him how much I love him. That I see the amazing things about him, even though I show it so awfully. How I see him in the hallway, on his phone, and he smiles when it goes off. God that smile. Then the tears and fear when someone talks to him..What I do. I can see how caring he is..How sweet. The hurt look on his face when he says anything to me. He truly doesn't mean it.

"Calum. It's okay."

"It's not, it will never be okay. You know what I did? I bullied you. I'm a fucking dick and you know it," I'm gay too.

"Don't put it like that," He whines. I shake my head.

"You know I did, I didn't mean to. I didn't notice I was, I'm so sorry. Look where it got you-" I stop talking before I burst into tears. He shakes his head.

"But it is is okay. You apologized..I forgive you," Luke reaches out and wipes tears away with his thumb. Then. I notice the scars.

"Your arm..Luke." My heart skips beats.

Me.

I did this to him.

He throws his arm away from my face and starts to cry. He cuts himself. No doubt because of me.

"No. Lets not-"

"I love you," I blurt. My face grows hot and his cheeks bleach even whiter. His blue eyes grow wide and he nods.

"So do I. I mean, I l-love you C-Calum," his words are sweet honey. 

I melt.