Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid--Katsura Kotarou x Reader (Gintama)

Chapter 4

(F/N) was honestly surprised phone booths were still a thing, but was very happy they were. Giving her report from inside the hideout didn't sound like a good idea.

(F/N) hummed as she listened to the phone ring, and smiled as the person on the other side picked up, and said a gruff 'hello.'

"Good morning, Hijikata-kun," she said. "I believe my report is due today?"

"Yes," he answered, "I take it you couldn't get off work?"

"No, but the Joui have surprisingly good labor standards. I get weekends off, so I'll stop by the base and drop off my formal report then, okay?"

"I look forward to it. Without you to constantly tease, Sougo has resorted to random attacks."

"Is that so?" (F/N) searched the street for a familiar sandy head. Since they were little, Okita Sougo had, for whatever reason, decided the sound of her scream was hilarious. This made her a target for 'pranks' ranging from wearing startling masks to an obvious Jigsaw rip-off.

Smiling at the memories, (F/N) shuffled through her report—her diary with certain bits edited out—and tried to decide which pieces of information had to be reported right away, and which had to wait for the weekend.

"My initial assessment of the situation was that Katsura Kotaro is an idiot," she began, "but since then, I have decided that was incorrect."

"How so?" Hijikata asked.

"He creates wild fantasies, yet his men respect him. He cosplays to bomb buildings, yet he remembers the name of everyone he meets. His strategies seem crazy at first, yet they always work. He also has a love of stray cats for some reason." She giggled. "You should see his face when he plays with them. It's adorable!"

On the other side of the phone, Hijikata sounded less than pleased.

"(F/N)-chan, continue the report. What's daily life like at the hideout?"

"Yes. We wake up at five every morning. There's a meeting at seven, though we usually wind up discussing dramas or idols. Katsura-san tends to be out of touch, so I've shown him a couple of dramas to help him out. We go about our assigned duties, and meet for lunch at twelve. Katsura-san likes to eat out. He usually goes with Elizabeth, but he's taken me with him a few times. His favorite food is soba, so watch the soba shops. I've noticed missions tend to take place between one and three o'clock. Katsura-san requires everyone eat dinner together, and after dinner is designated as bonding time. He's surprisingly considerate of everyone, you know? I never thought someone in his position would—"

"(F/N)." Hijikata interrupted.

(F/N) froze. When Hijikata spoke her name without an honorific, it was bad news.

"I can't help but notice you're awfully attached to Katsura."

(F/N) blinked. "I am? I just admire his skill as a leader, and his ability to evade capture."

"That's all? If you're sure, that's fine, but I'm warning you, don't get attached. He's a rebel, you're Shinsengumi. If you fall for him, you're gonna get hurt, and I don't want that, okay?"

"Fall for him? Hijikata-kun—"

"I have some work to do. You can finish your report Saturday. I'll see you then."

"Right. See you then."

The line went dead, and (F/N) let out a breath.

"Fall for him? That actually sounds disturbingly possible..."