Women are Crazy, Men are Stupid--Katsura Kotarou x Reader (Gintama)

Chapter 8

Day forty of Joui Rebels Infiltration.

Today is the last day. I should be happy, but I can't stop shaking, and I feel as if I'm about to cry. Last night, Katsura-san said he loved me. I love him, too, but acting on my feelings would mean giving up my job, my home, and most importantly, my family. The thought of never seeing the Shinsengumi boys again hurts me more than anything. Yes, that's right. I'm doing what I have to do.

Today is my last day as a member of the Joui Rebels.

(F/N) looked down at her report, and sighed. Next to the diary sat Katsura's bombs. They were one of his most common escape tactics, and she'd taken the liberty of stealing them and replacing them with duds.

(F/N) picked one up, seeing how it felt in her hand. She didn't actually know where he got them. Maybe she should take one and do some research.

So she stuffed it in her sleeve, and left her room at the Joui hideout for the last time.

~o0o~

Katsura peeked around the corner, and gestured for (F/N) to follow as he scampered into the alleyway. (F/N)'s heart pounded. She kept having to remind herself that she was not Joui. She was Shinsengumi, and she had nothing to worry about. The plan was secure. The others would intercept them soon, so why was she so nervous?

The shadows began to move, and the Shinsengumi crept out one by one. Katsura noticed immediately, and hid (F/N) behind him.

"Step back, (F/N)-chan!"

(F/N)'s chest tightened. Even after she broke his heart, he still insisted on protecting her.

Katsura reached into his sleeve, and grabbed one of his bombs. He pressed the button, and threw it as hard as he could. It fell to the ground completely harmless.

Katsura was confused, but none of the Shinsengumi officers said anything. One of the essential parts of the plan was to keep (F/N)'s cover in tact as long as possible just in case Katsura got away. On the surface, this appeared to be to (F/N)'s advantage. The problem was that they had to make it seem as if the Shinsengumi wanted her captured, and that meant someone had to attack her. That 'someone' was Okita.

Hijikata's logic when making the decision was, 'you spar all the time, so you can read one another's moves well. You should be able to fight without getting injured.'

That was bullshit, and Hijikata knew it. (F/N) didn't even know what she did to make him angry, but she would get on her knees and apologize as soon as this charade ended.

If it ended.

The Shinsengumi officers leapt at Katsura all at once, but (F/N) didn't have time to see if he made it out alive before Okita came down on her like a storm. Hijikata wasn't wrong—she knew his sword well, and it wasn't difficult to parry, but her moves were slow and sluggish compared to his. She wouldn't be able to keep up for long.

"Dammit, Sougo-kun..." (F/N) hissed. "Would it kill you to go a little bit easy on me?"

Okita smirked. "We wouldn't want to break our cover, would we?"

(F/N) fumed, and broke from defense for just a moment to aim a stab at his face. He dodged easily, and before she knew what was happening, her legs were knocked out from under her. She lay flat at her back, staring up at him as he raised his sword. (F/N) knew he just wanted to scare her. He would miss by a hair and give her a second or two to get back on her feet. Still, she screamed at the top of her lungs, throwing her arms over her face in a desperate attempt to save herself.

(F/N) heard the sound of sword slicing through flesh. She cracked open her eyes, and saw Katsura standing over her, a gaping wound in his chest. A moment later, he collapsed on top of her, his blood soaking into her clothing.

"Ka...katsura?" (F/N) stammered, shaking his shoulder. "Katsura?"

His eyes fluttered open briefly, but he didn't have the strength to speak. (F/N)'s hands were shaking. Why did he try to protect her? Why, after she broke his heart?

"Well, this is unexpected," Hijikata muttered, pausing to light a cigarette. "Take him into custody."

(F/N) stared at Katsura, lying on top of her barely conscious, and something inside her snapped.

"Stop it!"

(F/N) grabbed her sword, and swung it wildly. The tip struck Okita's cheek—the first hit she'd ever landed on him, and probably the last.

After months of suppressing her emotions, they were on full display. She screamed like an animal, waving her sword at anyone who dared to come near. When her voice gave out, and she paused to take a breath, she saw all her friends since childhood staring at her as if she were a stranger. She realized then that she could never go back. They wouldn't let her, and even if they did, things would never be the same as they were before. She'd given up three-second hugs with Hijikata, noogies from Okita, and picking on Kondo all for a moment of freedom.

Tears streaming down her cheeks, (F/N) reached into her sleeve, and pulled out the bomb. With a moment of hesitation, she pressed the button, threw it, and escaped with Katsura leaning on her shoulder through the barrier of smoke, never to return to her old life again.

~o0o~

"Everybody evacuate! The Shinsengumi is going to be here soon!"

(F/N)'s voice was hoarse from her screams, but it was enough to send the whole hideout into a panic. People tripped over each other to grab their things. One or two of the men asked (F/N) what happened and why she was supporting an unconscious Katsura, but she did her best to ignore them. She needed to find Elizabeth. As creepy as the penguin amanto was, he was at least reliable.

Elizabeth entered the room in the middle of the chaos, squeezing a foghorn to get everyone's attention. He quickly issued evacuation instructions, and he approached (F/N), holding up a sign.

'What happened?'

"The Shinsengumi found us," (F/N) answered, passing Katsura to him. "They know where the hideout is. Take him. There's something I need to do."

(F/N) ran outside, and Elizabeth had no words to stop her. She didn't know how much Katsura heard or remembered, but she wasn't about to risk seeing him look at her with the same hate-filled eyes she'd seen from her own family only minutes earlier.

~o0o~

(F/N) had lost everything in one night. She wandered the streets alone with no destination in mind, her only comfort the fact that it was too dark for anyone to see the blood on her clothes. Before meeting Katsura, she always knew what she wanted to do with her life, but now she was no longer sure. She didn't want to be Shinsengumi—she no longer agreed with their blind patriotism, or the way they had to obey Hijikata's rules without question. She also didn't want to be Joui—she didn't agree with their reckless hatred of the government violent tactics. All she wanted was to be somewhere in-between, free to follow her own whims and code of honor, while still helping people in her own way.

'Tell me if you're ever interested in doing odd jobs.'

(F/N) gasped. Of course!